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Review:Pheonix Potioneer says:
Hmm, I really don't think it is Victor Flint. All Marcus Flint really did was play Harry in Quidditch. Flint is nasty, but not Death Eater nasty. I find it highly unlikely that it is Victor Flint.

I feel sorry for Albus when he approached James, and I understand. When I was at school with my brother, I barely acknowledged him.

It would be kind of scary if your grandfather was evil, and especially your parents. Parents and grandparents are the people you're supposed to look up to. And Scorpious can't really look up to them. I'm actually quite surprised Scorpious turned out okay.

Near the beginning of the chapter, Albus says, "Okaay," and I'm not sure if it was an accident or you did that on purpose. (Like sometimes I say "sooo" on purpose) It is also kind of weird, since in other places Albus says "OK" and not "Okay". It should probably be the same throughout.

These chapters with just Rose and Albus trying to figure out the person is great, since it builds up the suspense. It also makes the reader (me) think about who the person is.

I find it funny that Rose comes up with the good ideas and Albus just goes along with it.

Great work on this chapter!

Author's Response: Yeah, James isn't exactly the overly caring big brother, but I think you can see from his concern about Victor Flint bothering Albus that he does care about him really. He just doesn't like to admit it!

I was barely allowed acknowledge my sister when she started secondary school. She told me before she started "it's OK if we meet up on the way home or whatever, but we are NOT waiting for each other or anything like that." *laughs*

Yeah, the "okaay" was meant to indicate doubt and that he's agreeing reluctantly, but you're right; it doesn't really fit as I've spelled it "OK" elsewhere. I'll think about that one. I should probably change it.

Glad you like the chapters when they are just plotting. I'm kind of afraid the story is moving too slowly, but I can't have something dramatic happen in every chapter and they do have to come up with suspects before they talk to them or anything.

And yeah, Albus just tends to go along with whatever Rose (or James) says, even when he thinks she's wrong, like when she decided James must have sent him the Swelling Solution. Unlike Harry, he's not exactly the strongest character. Not yet anyway. He might get more confidence in himself as he gets older, but now, he's used to being put down by James and being bossed around by Rose, so he just goes along with it.

And this is making me really look forward to the boggart chapter I have planned, which will be at the end of Year 2 (I figure that since Lockhart basically taught them NOTHING, Lupin would have had to cover stuff they should have done in 2nd year at the start of the year). I'm looking forward to it, because it gives a bit of insight into the characters. I know what both Rose and Albus's boggarts are.

Thanks again for the review. Love to hear your comments and what you think. The story is sort of coming towards the end. I'm guessing about another 5-10 chapters.


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