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Review:adluvshp says:
Here for your requested review!

Ah, another brilliant chapter. I quite enjoyed this a lot too and I am pleased with the story's progress. I loved that you are developing your characters a little more with each chapter and giving backstories and flashbacks as they always help add to the plot.

The plot seems to be thickening and I cant wait to see how things turn out further. All the little details, like the description of what the poisoned blood potion does, the part about Jean trying to stab his uncle once when he was sixteen, or where Simon has to stand still as they search for the bread thief - they all enhance the plot and make it all the more realistic and interesting. I enjoy and value such little aspects a lot, so great job!

Your transitions, as in the previous chapter, were quite neat in this one too, and I was pleased for the smooth flow. Another thing I'd like to point out is that the ease with which you switch from French to English is remarkable. Sometimes, authors fumble when switching between languages and disrupt the flow, but you seem to know exactly where and how to place it, so that's great. The dialogues and writing style also reflects the time of the war, and I am glad to see it maintained and hope it stays so throughout the story, along with flawless grammar - so all in all this has a very smooth and graceful flow and it is a pleasure reading it.

As I said earlier, I loved the development you provided with your characters. I liked the backstory of Camille and Xavier, expressed through Camille's and Jean's conversation, and later through her's and Xavier's detour, and the flashback. It all gave enough information (as apt for the second chapter) and yet not a lot - which was good. It definitely gave some insight into the two of them and their relationship though, and I love how you're exploring each character and their personal relationships, and not just focusing on the war. It is usually hard to maintain a balance between the two as I have noticed in other stories, but I am happy that you have maintained that balance so far. This was also evident through the parts included about Simon visiting his sisters, and also about Jean's past of stabbing his uncle, so Good work!

The descriptions are quite simple yet intricate and that is awesome. If you're looking to enhance your descriptions to a larger level, I'd suggest using imagery though and scenario description (as in more description of surroundings etc.). Nevertheless, they're good as it is too.

Over all, I am enjoying the story so far. Your plot seems to be quite interesting and I liked the progress you have made in the span of two chapters itself. The characters seem to be complex so it would be interesting to see how they develop further too - so far though I am liking them all, though more insight into Astrid and Jean (as I am sure is coming in future chapters) is what I am looking forward to in terms of characterisation. The pace seems to be well-suited for the story theme, you're not going too fast or too slow with the events and that is great.

Keep writing! Thumbs up!


P.S. Sorry for the monstrous length of this review, and do feel free to re-request for the next chapter when it is up!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm glad you like the flashbacks, as there will be more of those in coming chapters and I don't want to bore the reader.

Those transitions - really? I was a little worried that they'd feel too abrupt, so the fact that you say the opposite is great!

You like my characters, hooray! That is the best thing you could say to me.

Balance is something I'll try to keep in mind, because it's not something I was paying particular attention too. Thank you for telling me!

I am so flattered that you enjoy my description. It's honestly not my forte, and your compliments mean a lot.

Aww, don't apologise for the length of this review -- all your compliments gave me warm fuzzy feelings. Thank you so much for your support!

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