Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:teh tarik says:
Elphaba, I'm back :D And aahh...apologies it's taken me quite some time.

Goodness, this is such a gripping chapter. It's just completely loaded with action and suspense and terror; you're absolutely terrific at writing these action scenes, and the whole scenario with the Death Eaters was so carefully planned and visualised in such detail with the Fulgura charms and the bolts of lightning and the runes Clio draws on the tent etc.. I'm a bit blown away by it all. It all feels so incredibly real; in fact I really do feel like I'm reading GoF all over again, except from a different perspective.

Clio's actions really surprised me; I'm actually loving how her characterisation is turning out. She's brave, reckless but also extremely emotional at times. But more reckless than anything :P The way she just leapt onto the Death Eater's back as he was Disapparating...that was incredibly original and I swear my jaw just dropped all the way down to the floor. I've never seen an OC depicted or characterised in this way before, so great work on your wonderful and absolutely original characterisation of Clio. Then again, I've not come across any other fanfic that fits itself so snugly into canon, and with so many canon details as well!

I'm assuming this brutish blond Death Eater is Thorfin Rowle...though I suppose it could be anything else. Ugh, that scene with him was just painful to watch. And yet Clio handles it so well. Loved that moment where she concentrates on the parts of her body that don't hurt her, i.e. her fingertips. Though of course, I would assume that her fingers might hurt as some of her nails were ripped out *shudders* Gah, this is just too creepy. And my heart stopped when the Death Eater used the Cruciatus curse on her. He does sound like a thickwit, but a cruel, brutal thickwit. I'm a little surprised that he didn't just kill her once he'd been finished torturing her, but I can imagine that he must've been in a very distressed state of mind himself, having just seen the Dark Mark and with the Ministry officials probably looking for the Death Eaters etc.

Oh, another thing, I love all your minor characters as well :D There are so many of them, but I could easily tell them apart because of you characterised them with so much detail. Bernie's potty and vulgar mouth, Jenn's sense of reason and sensibility etc. I think you're doing a tremendous job handling so many OCs and fitting them into canon.

OK, well, absolutely fantastic work with this chapter. Terrific writing, really. I will definitely come back and read your further chapters :D And totally adding this story to my favourites' so I can keep track of it better :)

-teh

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your very kind review. :)

I'm really glad to hear that you see Clio as reckless, because that's exactly what I was going for. :) And you've guessed correctly that the Death Eater is Rowle. I picked Rowle because I needed to be able to write the scene in a way that wouldn't result in her death, and thought I could do it with him. Yes, he's cruel, but I think at this point in his life he doesn't quite have the stomach to kill another wizard.

You caught a mistake on my part with the fingertips -- they *would* hurt, wouldn't they? That's something I didn't catch, so thanks for pointing it out! I will edit that as soon as I get a chance -- she'll have to just concentrate on her toes. That pain-control method is actually something my aunt taught me once, and it usually helps!

I'm glad to hear that you like Clio's friends, too. They will pop up every now and then, though usually not all at once.

Thanks for following, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it progresses!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 944
Submit Report: