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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here again! :)

I really like Sirius's point of view in this chapter. His inner train of thought is both funny and fits his character. I like how he makes himself the hero in his own mind: kindly letting the girl he partnered with do the unicorn project and dutifully visiting Remus on his sick bed. I also like his interaction with Lily. Lily has been written in so many ways (often not well) and I think you do a really good job with her, especially her matter-of-fact way of telling Sirius she already knows about Remus.

I found spelling/grammatical errors here and there, like this one: "...me and James were always wondering school..." I think wondering should be wandering.

I also think that here: "...to run away screaming to all the passer-by's," the plural form is "passersby."

Other moments that I really like in this chapter are Lily's slip where she reveals that she looks after Thalia like the Marauders look after Remus, Professor Kettleburn's cameo, and Sirius's confused efforts to distract himself from Thalia.

Despite the mechanical issues (punctuation and occasional spelling and grammar) this is a really well written story, with great storytelling and characterization. I'm enjoying it a lot! Thanks for asking me to review it. :)

Author's Response: Hello there Elphaba!

I'm glad that you liked Sirius's POV, as I have so much fun writing it:D Yeah he does big himself up sometimes, letting people do his homework, and visiting his friends, bless him ;D

Yeah Lily has been written so many ways, and I often don't like how she's portrayed as well, so I'm really glad that you liked her portrayal!

I just edited those spellings errors, as this chapter was long overdue an edit! I actually have a new beta now as my last went AWOL, so I should have less mechanical issues next time.

Woo for Professor Kettleburn, he is such a legend! Lily and the Marauders are such good people to their friends! Sirius is a bit silly with his efforts to distract himself from Thalia, but hey he's a teenage boy, what can you expect?

Thank you so much for the great review, it's really help motivate me for the chapter I'm currently writing!

-Kiana!

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