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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi there, darling! After our realization on live stream that we've never read anything of each others, I wanted to come by!

I hardly read anything that features Teddy. Not for any reason, I just never come across something that is about him that doesn't also wrap around all the next gen drama, so I was really excited about the time turner werewolf aspects of this!

Ohh I hope Harry picked up on how suspicious Teddy was being! And I loved that you had Victoire wanting to accompany him. That shows a lot about their relationship in just that small sentence. She's clearly brave, and she cares enough about her (husband or bf at this time? I'm not sure) to want to join him on this dangerous journey.

But of course he doesn't let her. Because he's stubborn, like all the men in the world. Your kind really needs to work on that :P

Oh god! Teddy's on a suicide mission, isn't he? You really put me on the edge of my seat with this ending. Was it Remus? Is he really going to be turned into a werewolf? So many exciting questions that make me want to read on!

I really think you have such a creative and original start. If I could suggest anything, it would be letting your scenes play out more. Maybe more description would do the trick for that.

Like here:
---He started to run into the forest to get to a certain depth inside. He wasn’t sure how much it would have changed over the years but he was sure it couldn’t be too much. He ran into it, a feeling of fear creeping into his spine as his lost sight of the entrance and a maze of trees was all he could see. He shivered in the cold February air, his breath ghosted in front of him as he ran.---

The last sentence on that is really, really awesome. So just adding a bit more of that to really paint us a picture, like:

He started to run into the forest, wanting to get deep into the cover of dark greens and tower branches. He wasn’t sure how much it would have changed over the years but he was sure it couldn’t be too much. As he ran farther, ignoring the sounds of the snapping twigs that seemed to echo in ever direction, a feeling of fear crept into his spine. He looked around, his eyes darting in every direction, and realized that he lost sight of the entrance. He was completely submerged in the maze of trees and and shadows. He shivered in the cold February air, his breath ghosted in front of him as he ran--

I only added a few things, but it kind of gives a clearer picture of how eerie the forest is.

Your writing is really smooth, and your sentence structure is really clean. I love that, because it makes it so easy to get lost in the story.

I really loved this first chapter, m'dear! I'm excited to read the next!!

Jami

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