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Review:aquabluez17 says:
Hey! here with your review =)

This is a great start! It took me a while to understand that Neil is a muggle though. Maybe you could build that. Also in the beginning things are kinda choppy and are jumping everywhere which makes it hard for a reader to really pay attention when the story isn't focused.

haha Lily is so cute. I do wish we got more of both of the characters personalities though. just adding a bit more description and setting would help I think

great start!

Author's Response: Wow, that was fast!
Nice to know that it is a good start. I started the story thing Neil was a wizard and the beanstalk was a wizard lunchroom. Then somehow it changed and I liked it better that way.

Would you read and review the next chapter for me too or should I request that on the forum...

I think you'll like Lily even better in the chapers to come. She does not really the things I plan... she has a mind of her own.

thanks for reviewing... I'm going try and make it more focused.

x


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