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Review:my_voice_rising says:
Wow! Val, this story is just incredible. In fact, I think you could consider getting rid of the HP aspects altogether and trying to publish.

It's so well-written, and the way that you insert bits of historical information (like the pink triangles) is subtle enough that it fits with the characters. Meaning you don't have to explain Simon thinking "Oh, they're wearing pink triangles. That means they are homosexuals because that's what the Nazi party does." It's much more realistic and helps the reader become absorbed in the time period. I hope that makes sense.

The suspense!! So much of it. You write it very well, in fact. When they Xavier and Camille were following their target through the crowds, I was so nervous. And when he said "look at me and laugh," it was so quick and subtle but it just portrayed how intense everything really was.

The potion was really haunting--did you come up with that yourself? When Johanna said "You mean it only leaves a skin envelope?" I actually got chills. How horrifying. And how suitable for everything that's going on around them.

I was so worried when Simon went to talk to his sisters over the fence, that he was going to be caught. Like really, edge-of-my-seat worried. Do you not think they would have more rigorous patrolling there? Or did he study the guards' rounds and learn when there would be an opening?

Another amazing chapter. Job well done! ♥

Author's Response: Daww, you. I would never dare.

Yes, that did make sense -- it leads to me leaving insanely long author's notes though!

The target following, really? I was worried it would be too boring, so it's great to hear that it made you nervous (and now I sound like some completely creepy person who enjoys watching other people suffer).

The story of that potion popped up in the car, in the middle of a traffic jam. Random piece of information you probably don't care about. I have no idea where it came from, and I wasn't too sure about it, but I'm really happy you found it chilling (gosh, the creep in me is very talkative today).

Camp survivors describe in their testimonies that not all areas of the camp were regularly patrolled, which is what I used here. Also, I think I said somethng about Simon's barrack companions. This sounds fairly horrible inside my head, and worse written down, but I think most male prisoners would make sure to find out when it was possible for them to get a glimpse of the women's side of the camp. Simon is in the same situation, except not for the same reasons!

You're the best. &hearts

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