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Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

Hey there, I didn't lie, I'm here for our swap. I'd better see a review of something of mine, read whatever tickles your fancy. I warn you though, some of the things I write are awfully pervy.
Anyhoo, on to this! I don'd read many stories from a first person POV so this was a nice change and I really liked Scott righ away. The awkward drive with hsi dad sort of reminded me of many with my mom (Though I'm a lovely lass) and I liked the brief little background you gave them. For some reason, the fact that his mother left them was overshadowed by me laughing at the fact that she had "man hands". I shouldn't have laughed but that was your intention right? :D Hahah. I hope so, cause otherwise I feel dead awful!
Anyway, so that rejection from Lily was just pretty embarrassing but I'll give Scott some credit, he didn't break down and get all angsty. I was wondering why Lily would reject him though, I perhaps would have wanted some backstory on that but I got it later. :D
So, with all the things that he did tell her, I had to laugh at how you burst Lily's bubble. I mean, its pretty different from how girls see things from boys, I'm assuming and I really enjoyed that. And of course, the moment when he was going on about why he was in love with her didn't hurt either. ;)
But...one thing, when he fell off his seat in the compartment, where'd Fred go? That was the only thing that bothered me, and unless I read it wrong, he either vanished or was still knocked out. Hahahaha.
So, anyway, this was a good read, I wish it had been a tad longer but that's the thing with one-shots. They sort of suck that way. :D
But I really enjoyed this! :D
I shall see you on the forums!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Oh, you read my first one-shot, I cringe when I read through it because of all the grammatical errors. I should go back and fix those, but, eh, I'll live with it.

Yes, I was hoping people would laugh at the "man-hands" thing :P I wanted the kid to have a sadish background, but I wanted him to not really care about it (that didn't make sense. Moving on. . .).

Thanks! Fred, oh I had him sneak off when little Scotty was sleeping, but I forgot to mention that (cringe again), but I think he also "forgot" about Fred when he saw Lily. So, eh, whatever.

Yes! One-shots rock!
Thanks for reviewing (very helpful),
Jack (soapman333)

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