|Review:||800 words of heaven says:|
Hiya! Here with your requested review!
Aww! That's really nice of you! Also, I was really excited to learn that the next chapter was from Sirius' point of view, because I really like the way you write him! And it's really nice to review a chapter a bit further on in the story. I know that early chapters end up with heaps of reviews, but for me at least, I get quite worried about the chapters that are later on, partly because they have fewer reviews, so I don't know what worked and what didn't.
Okay, first of all, I've always thought it was really cute and sweet how James and Sirius wanted to help Remus and became illegal Animaguses for that sole purpose. Also, I think it's a credit to their talent that they managed the entire thing by fifth year without any help, save from each other.
Another thing: OMG! OMG! OMG! OF COURSE IT'S SOMETHING MORE BETWEEN YOU THALIA, YOU FOOL! But I guess it's still early days and everything, so I'll try and curb my excitement. BUT SERIOUSLY, SIRIUS - YOU SHOULD HAVE KISSED HER!
I think it's really interesting that Sirius still holds onto certain Black family values. You can definitely understand his views on love and relationships, and see where they were formed, if he only had his parents' loveless marriage as a model. I do think it interesting that he doesn't take into account Mr and Mrs Potter's relationship, because we know that he was practically adopted into their family. I wonder how this view will proceed later in the storyÖ
Even though this story isn't outright funny, I do enjoy the little elements of humour - which are especially prevalent in Sirius point of view. For example, James and Sirius running into Dumbledore every time they tried to get up to mischief during the day put a smile on my face!
I really enjoyed the conversation between Lily and Sirius. They were civil towards each other, but they were still teasing, which I thought was really cute. It's a really nice way of laying the foundations of what we know as being quite a strong friendship in the book series, so kudos for that!
I agree with Sirius on the point of James acting as a three year old. I thought the exact same thing a split second before Sirius thought it. I think it's a sign - we must be soul mates. I thought it a bit weird that Sirius thought that James had no hope against Will, at least the way he was described. We know that James and Sirius were both really popular students, well loved by teachers and students alike, and that they also did really well in school. James was Quidditch captain at some point in time, as well, but even if he isnít yet, heís still a really good Quidditch player. The only thing I see that Will has and James doesn't is a Prefect badge. Were you implying that Will Cavendish was a perfectly polite boy who didn't pester Lily constantly for her affections, wasn't an idiot in her presence, and behaved himself at all times? I also thought it was really mature of James to recognise defeat and make a graceful exit. If I was in Lily's place, a move like that would not have been wasted on me!
Peter is such a pushover! I'm not sure if this is the first time we're seeing this, or I've just noticed it, but I can see how Voldemort convinced him so easily to go over to the Dark side - and without bribing him with cookies, either!
Oh, Sirius! Such prejudice against the other Houses. It seems that there's a lot of stereotyping and typecasting going around, which I think is a really clever way of subtly showing why the magical community fell so easily to bow to Voldemort's power. He didn't even have to try to divide and conquer - all the work was done for him through generations of the lack of inter-House tolerance.
MY HEART BREAKS FOR YOU, SIRIUS! (That was concerning his "rejection" from Thalia - he didnít even ask her yet, the poor boy!)
Just one other thing - have you considered getting a beta for this? I think it's a great story, but I noticed quite a few spelling and grammar issues. Whilst a lot of people don't care, these things can interrupt the flow of the story a bit, as you try and figure out what's going on, and a beta can really help with that! Also, they're great to talk with when you get stuck and stuff!
Anyway, it was another nice chapter. And I'm super glad with some progress in their relationship!
Author's Response: Hi and thank you for leaving such a long review, I really appreciate it!
I'm glad that you like how I write Sirius, as I love writing him, as it's so much fun! Yeah I know what you mean about the lack of feedback in the later chapter, it's rather sad, as I see people reading it, they just don't say anything about it :(
Yeah they're all such great friends! I think Sirius also wanted to become one, so he could turn into an animal, he just didn't want to admit it ;)
I know I got excited writing it, and even though I was making Sirius think it wasn't much, I was still yelling at him! The kiss will come soonish, but it may not go so well! I know it's mean, but I enjoy inflicting pain onto my characters!
Yeah Sirius is still Black, even though he doesn't like admitting it, and the Potter's influence on him will increase when he moves in with them, but he's still denying love at the moment!
I like including the little bits of humour, so I'm glad that you like them too!
I know what you mean about Sirius and Lily, I couldn't just have them be enemies, as they're meant to be good friends later on, so it made more sense to do it this way.
I see what you mean about Will, I'll have to look at it again, and make it clearer. It's mainly because he's so perfect, and rule abiding, and loved for being good, and not for doing pranks, is why James won't stand a chance. He's still immature now, and Will isn't as great as he seems, so James will get Lily. Eventually.
Voldy may have had a few cookies, as he's not that much of a pushover, but he did only need a few mind! I do try and give Peter more backbone, it's just so hard to do.
Sirius does seem more prejudiced than the others, that's probably due to his family being in Slytherin though, and him hating them. But yes you can see why Voldy managed to divide the magical community so easily, as the work was done for him a 1000 years ago!
My heart broke for Sirius too! He just needs to move faster next time ;)
I did have a beta but she went AWOL, about 2 months ago, so I waited to see if she would resurface, but she hasn't :( BUT! Someone agreed to be my new beta, yesterday, so this chapter, and the other ones should be sorted out soonish :D
Thanks for the awesome, and I'm glad that there was some progress as well :D