Hello there dear!
Another Draco story! Tehnically, this is the first Draco story you've written, but since I read "Detox" first, we'll leave it at that.
It's so amusing to see how Draco felt and thought before becoming disenchanted with his life as a Death Eater. The opening paragraphs were amazing, showing me as a reader that the little brat really wanted to be like Daddy when he grew up. The idea that he wanted a woman to busy herself with his social calendar makes perfect sense to me.
At first I was creeped out by the interactions between Draco and Pansy, mainly because I can't imagine anybody doing that with her. But once I got used to the idea that we are once again (for me at least) in the mind of Draco, I found them to be very ... interesting. I say that because what I've seen of Draco in this first chapter, he is the poster child of rich, spoiled children everywhere. The kind that don't actually have any plans outside of the imediate future, their best accomplishments are those of their parents, since they are at best, average and that count on Daddy to secure their life for them. I have a friend like that, who's parents are very well off, and as coincidence has it, I just visited her a few days ago. And reading Draco here, it just made me remember the things that come out of her mouth. The way in which one might drop a hint about an important aquaintance or a very expensive venue they've visited. Just like Draco bragged about the impeding nuptials with the Bulgarian family. So, you were spot on with Draco. Well done!
While reading about Draco and Pansy, I understood the full meaning of JKR's words "Let my girls be Hermiones, not Pansy Parkinsons". Let my girls be the same too. I will come out and tell you that I have no respect for this character. Any woman that would just allow herself to be treated like that and used in such a way deserves to be called anything but a woman. Such a shame that the comments are 12+.
I can understand that at fifteen or sixteen, it's easy to be impressed when the most popular guy in school comes on to you. And by her standards, he is the most popular guy. Except, what she doesn't yet realize is that she is a toy. Arm candy if you will. Draco's interactions with her showed me that to him, she is nothing more than an object, not a person. Of course, at sixteen, when you're smack in the middle of growing up, the things he thought about are perfectly normal, if you know what I mean. However, if there is one good thing that came out of this war, it's the fact that Draco grew up, or else he would've never been able to have a healthy relationship.
Now Snape. He was canon Snape, through and through. I even read him with Rickman's voice in my head, it all came very natural. I loved how he was both strict and somewhat concerned with Draco's well being and the instructions he gave him were phrased perfectly. I tell you, it's like the hoped off OotP and into this story!
I also loved how you ended this chapter, in the perfect place to build the suspense for what's going to come. Reading this reminded me of my 5th grade teacher, who used to tell us that in third-person POV stories, the author is allknowing and omnipotent. And you are, in the magnificent way in which you play with these characters and bring them to life.
I know you only requested for chapter one, but I'm going to go on and read everything now, because I'm so curious to see what happens next!
Author's Response: My goodness! Such a long, detailed and thought-provoking review. It's like Christmas morning!
I wanted to start the story off with Draco at the very pinnacle of his pride and arrogance. To really appreciate how far he falls by the end of the story, I thought it was important to depict him that way. It isn't just that he has no respect for Pansy in particular or women in general, he basically has no respect for anyone. He is living completely in his own world of self-indulgence and egocentricity.
I'm glad that the Draco-Pansy love scene creeped you out. That was more or less the reaction that I was going for. Draco holds her in such low regard that he pretty much toys with her. And he enjoys his "toy" so much that he's unwilling to give her up, even if his parents find another girl for him to marry who forwards their monetary and political interests more effectively. Most of us, I think, have known a kid at some point with these Draco-like characteristics. It's pretty universal for people from the developed world.
It's nothing new for me to agree with JKR, but I agree with her point on Hermione vs. Pansy more strongly than with most others. Pansy is the epitome of everything a self-respecting young lady should NOT be.
Snape... I **loved** writing him in that scene. And it was honestly one of the easiest things I've ever written, for exactly the reason you describe. I just let my inner Alan Rickman run free, and the words tumbled from the tips of my fingers. He's such a beautiful bastard!
I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this. I found it really rewarding to write. Thanks for reading and reviewing!