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Review:MargaretLane says:
A story from Hugo's point of view! This should be interesting. And I love the title. It's really intriguing.

One mistake I've noticed is that you've started some sentences with small letters instead of capital letters.

You've also started Scorpius's name with a small letter once or twice.

Teddy's still at school? Shouldn't he be about 21 at this stage? Since Albus's first year was 19 years after he was born and this is two years later.

*laughs at Lily's outburst* She does have a point, but I don't blame Hugo for getting irritated.

You've give me an insight into a number of characters' personalities already, just from the first few paragraphs. Hugo seems adventurous, Lily seems bossy and James seems like a bit of a rebel.

I also have the impression Rose and Scorpius are a bit more than just friends. You indicated that very well.

I like the fact that Harry taught Teddy the same spell Remus taught Teddy. It's like he's repaying Remus by teaching it to his son.

And I like the way Teddy's hair went red when he was angry.

You could actually make a longer story out of this, explaining why the Dementor is there and showing more of Hugo's first year at Hogwarts, but finishing it here works well too.

I like the last line. It shows how Hugo is feeling and also gives the impression of life continuing after you've finished writing.

Author's Response: Thank you for your constructive review! This is my very first story and I have put up a new one. I will correct the eroors in the future and I hope you enjoyed it! xx

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