Hello, I'm here for your challenge review. Eventually.
I swear you just wrote this to win. It's got basically everything I like: Radiohead, creepy!Snape, Gothic horror (I know you were saying Bronte vibes, but I got Tell-Tale Heart vibes, which I infinitely prefer), some brilliant puns and the ability to reduce Dan to just over a paragraph. You sneaky, sneaky Slytherin, you.
(Yes, apparently I do read other people's reviews. 'cause I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo... etc., etc.)
I like how you've just hinted at the sex (or more specifically the not having sex) and the domestic violence in that first bit; it feels so much more Victorian. He's the kind of guy you could imagine using the word 'self-abuse' in a non-ironic way. He's repressed and a bit anachronistic, and just generally sort of displaced and alienated, which is exactly how I see him. And, of course, it goes so well with 'Creep'.
You've got some lovely language going on, too. The imagery is somewhere between beautiful and uncomfortable, lines like
I can almost feel a hint of red hair, of bewitching green eyes, burned into the skin of my eyelids.
...that sounds painful, even if you don't take it literally. And it works.
And the dehumanising pronouns and descriptions Snape uses for Lily, James and Harry, the contrast between the warmth and colour associated with her and and dark and cold associated with him - she's almost like a particularly pretty vase, or something - I don't need to go on, do I? You know all this; you wrote it.
Last thing before I shut up - I'm pretty fond of the idea that Voldemort may actually exist in this AU, just that no-one's figured it out yet. :D
Author's Response: Hiss!
Hahaha, I was worried it would look like I wrote this specifically for you! In truth, I had this Snape-murdering-James-and-being-NASTY plunny floating around in my head for a long time, and then every time I heard Creep I thought of it again. When you set your challenge I did come up with a Bronte-esque/Woman In Black sort of thing about Albus and Gellert, but then Snape/Creep came back to mind and I realised it was perfect for the horror/dark genre.
I actually love that you picked up the Tell-Tale Heart vibes... I've been watching The Following and feeling quite E.A. Poe-y!
Yes, yes! Victorian! Creepy as hell! I love the 'non-ironic self-abuse' point you've made, you're completely right. This Snape is not a happy man. Well, neither is JKR's Snape.
Doesn't it go well with 'Creep'?! As I was writing it I kept hearing more and more songs that suddenly became about Snape, 'Mr Brightside' and 'Always' (Bon Jovi) amongst them. CRINGE.
Oh my, how do you manage to put a twist in the tale IN YOUR REVIEWS?! You. Oh, you. This may be the only review I've ever had where the final line made me shudder and sort of want to cackle and rub my hands together evilly.
Thanks for setting a brilliant challenge. I want to write more dark/horror... You've got my blood lust going. *HUGS*