Hello! Here for your requested review.
Ah, what a wonderful one-shot. I have come across many poorly written Tom Riddles, so I was a bit wary when I started reading this, but I am so glad I did, because this was quite nicely done. People tend to 'mess up' his character but I was pleased that you captured him fairly well.
I loved the plot concept of him being called the "odd one" and sort of living up to his name, or rather growing into his name. That was a powerful concept.
As for the believability, I think this was definitely believable. You did a fine job in portraying young Tom Riddle and his thoughts, and the way it all played out was quite realistic. He seemed very much like one would imagine him to be - mature in a way for an 11-year-old and yet childish. We could also see the sense of power in his head and that was great.
I also loved the part where Tom says that he took Dennis and Amy to the cave because they were taunting him about being unloved. It showed that he was affected by the fact that he was abandoned by his parents and needed and wanted love, and unfortunately when he didn't get it, he turned "bad" because he wanted to take revenge on the world, and hurt it because he had his 'precious' parents taken from him. It just shows how much impact being in the orphanage and families' refusal to take him had on him.
Of course, this is different, but I think it works well enough, as it had this haunting feel about it and had me hooked while reading.
This flowed really well too, and I think it is very appropriate for 500 words - as more would not have made the impact it did.
I didn't see any technical errors either, except for the final sentence as it sounded weirdly phrased to me ("wait until for the moment..." part) so I'd suggest that you see if that can be re-phrased and still fit in the 500 words.
Apart from that, I don't have any CC to give you as this was a well-written one-shot, was quite believable, very interesting, and nicely thought out. Your pace, flow, grammar, and characterisation was finely done. Good work!
Author's Response: Hi Aditi, thanks for leaving such a detailed review!
I'm glad that you thought that I captured Tom Riddle well, as like you said he's such a complex character, he's really hard to portray! I just sort of imagined that I was him, so I guess getting into his mindset piad off, even if I felt weird being in a serial killers mind!
Yes I thought that the odd one, would be a cool idea to use, as you never imagine him getting bullied, you imagine him the bully, so I thought it would be nice to show, that everyone has a hidden side.
I'm that it was believable as his mind is so warped, you never know what he would be thinking!
I thought that the incident with the cave must have a reason behind it, and I wanted to show why he may have ended up evil, so I combined both in one! I'm glad that you liked it, as I love adding more of a backstory to canon events.
I'm glad that you thought it fitted 500 words well, as I agree I couldn't think of what else to write, so it seemed fitting to do it for this challenge.
I'll look at the last sentence and see what I can do:)
Thanks for the review it was really useful!