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Review:teh tarik says:
Hello :)

Wow. This is an amazing premise for a story...I love AU a lot, although I'm not generally a fan of WW1 or WW2 stories...but I am incredibly intrigued at how you are going to involve the wizarding world with Muggle wars, and how the magical and non-magical communities interact with each other.

Well, you've certainly described Cedric's condition in very vivid detail - the sensations, the room - there are some very lovely descriptive phrases there e.g. He could not see much from his flattened position, but the room was large, white and clean like his mother's laundry hanging on the line in the apple orchard. With phrases like these, you not only give a wonderful sense of setting, but also flashes of Cedric's childhood, his past - the life he used to know. But so far this chapter is rather hazy; there are flashes of memories, blurred events...which really show Cedric's sense of disorientation. Your characterisation of Cedric is great; you show his initial optimism as well as his sense of idealism and naivete - the kind exhibited by young men off to pursue justice and glory. And yet despite all this, Cedric is sensitive, he's a little sentimental...and I get the sense that he's a gentle sort of fellow. Which really does fit his characterisation in canon so great work.

I'm so glad that this is going to be a Cho/Ced fic. I love this pairing and I think Cho gets a lot of unnecessary hate from fandom. I'm sure you'll be able to explore the complexities of her character - your writing so far is excellent and smooth and your characterisation detailed and subtle.

I love the idea of students signing up to help in the war at Hogwarts! It is quite an unsettling image actually - a bunch of vulnerable schoolchildren signing themselves off to something so big and destructive as war, probably not having any idea of what it entails.

OK, well, I think this is a fantastic start! Lovely writing, really. I'll be keeping an eye on your story and will come back to read your second chapter :)



Author's Response: Hi teh! Thanks so much for dropping by :)

Oh, it's so great that you like Cedric! I felt like he would be the perfect choice to play the young, adventurous hero, the soldier sent off to fight in a war much bigger than he is. I'm pleased to hear that you like the description and the way he sentimentally relates his surroundings to memories of his beloved home.

Cho does get a lot of hate, and while she's certainly not my favorite canon character, I feel like she gets less credit than she deserves for pushing on after the tragic loss of her boyfriend. I tried to add a little more boldness to her character here and to really let her goodness, intellect, and perseverance shine through. Hopefully you'll see that beginning with chapter two, when she makes her entrance.

I'm happy that you like the premise of this AU story so far, even if historical fiction isn't really your style, and that you will come back and give me more of your thoughts in future chapters. Thanks again for your lovely review :)


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