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Review:adluvshp says:
Hello! Here for your requested review! {Before I go on though, I'd like to say that it would be much appreciated if you took the time to respond to this review since I noticed that you had hardly responded to any of the reviews on this}.

Wow, I quite liked this. I am not much of a history person, but I really enjoyed this. I think this is quite an original plot, mixing WWII and the Wizarding World, and you seem to be executing it quite well so far. There seems to be this tension present in the narrative throughout which is great and very effective for such a story. I think this is brilliant for a prologue and will definitely hook on readers, especially since you seem to have thought of the plot so well. I can't wait to see how it further develops. I especially liked the whole idea of all your OCs being a team and doing their parts of their jobs separately and then coming together for the meeting. I think this was a nice way of showing how they're all crucial to the plot - of the story as well as of the plan - in their own ways.

As for characterisation, I think you did a fairly good job introducing your characters. They all seem to be very interesting and you've crafted them in perfect ways for the prologue. I was instantly able to identify each of them and remember who is who and who does what, which is quite commendable since people can usually get confused when it comes to multiple OCs in a story. However, I'd suggest that for future chapters, you focus on one (or maximum) two characters at a time per chapter to minimise the possibility of confusing your readers, and also to get a chance to explore each character further in depth. Just a minor CC though =)

Talking about description, I really don't have much to say. I think your descriptions are very perfect, and I loved reading them. They are very serious and to-the-point but are very surreal too which is great. They seem to make the scenarios very interesting so keep writing your descriptions like you do them. I really loved your writing style, and would hate to see it changed (as authors many times use a different writing style for prologues/opening chapters and switch to a different one for further chapters, I hope you don't do the same).

Finally, the flow. I don't think you need to be concerned about it at all. This flowed very smoothly and the transition from one scene to another was neat. I also liked the way you were able to maintain balance between dialogue, thought, and narrative, as if that is not maintained well, it can disrupt the flow, but I was pleased to see that you could handle it. I'd just suggest to ensure your grammar stays flawless (just like it was in this prologue) throughout the story as grammar and spacing/formatting is essential to the flow. It was nicely done in this chapter and I hope it is maintained like this throughout. Another thing crucial to the flow and plot, is the pace of the story, so make sure you don't rush. Especially since this is a historical piece of sorts, take your time to write out events and develop your characters. As for within this prologue, the pace was perfect, as you didnt jump from one situation to another quickly.

All in all, good job! I quite liked this, it is a very interesting and original story, so keep writing!

9/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi Angie!

I'm so glad you liked this introduction and found it good. I was really worried about posting this story, so feedback like yours really comforts me and makes me happy. The fact that you say the tension came out well is what I'm most thankful to you for, as I really want to be accurate about this period.

In future chapters, I am absolutely planning to stick essentially to one or two characters, though the others will still be there to interact, obviously. However, there will probably also be some scenes with everyone, but those will probably be limited action scenes, which I'm terrible at writing, so there shouldn't be too many (I hope).

Your compliments on my description made me smile at the screen like a fool. Description usually isn't my forte, so thank you so much!

And of course, I'll try to keep flawless grammar for the rest of the story, but typos are sneaky little creatures, so I'll do my best.

Thank you so much for this review!


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