Hello! Iím here with you requested review!
I can I just say this was a very interesting perspective to read. As Iíve read tons of Marauders stories, Iím used to seeing the repercussions of what Sirius did from someone elseís perspective, and strangely enough Iíve never read it from Remusís perspective, so it was a nice change.
A note on Remusís perspective I felt it was well done, but I know this may sound strange, but Remus appeared to have very feminine thoughts. I think it was the amount of description you used in his thoughts, as I would have imagined boys not to notice as much. So though I loved the description, perhaps tone it down a bit, to make it more masculine.
I found a couple of sentences a little strange to read. Here are a few that I found Ė Ďplain, black work robesí, I felt as if work was unnecessary, and it would sound better without it. Also Ďhis chance at normalcyí, I just thought instead of normalcy, a normal life, may just make the story flow better:)
I liked that you made Remus show some level of dislike due to what Sirius did, as usually they are just good friends afterwards but I liked that you didnít do that, as if youíre best friend nearly killed someone I doubt you would still be friends!
I thought that apart from the few awkward sentences, it flowed well, and it was a clear and easy read, and there were not really any parts you couldnít understand.
I rather liked the ending, as it was almost as if it signified a change in Remus and Siriusís friendship, and I wouldnít do anything to change it. As for continuing it, it would be interesting to know what effect this had on their friendship, as like I just said, it seemed as if their friendship would be different as a result of this.
I thought this was a very interesting one-shot, and it provided a new and different perspective, to quite a popular topic, so good job! Kiana :)
Author's Response: Thanks, Kiana!
That's interesting about the femininity v. the masculinity of his thoughts. I'd never even considered that! I'll definitely give his thought-process another look. Also, I like your recommendations for deleting "work" and changing "normalcy" to "normal life". And thanks for your thoughts on the ending. That's how I looked at it, too, as marking a very significant changing point.
Personally, I agree with you and think that this event was far more significant (and detrimental) than people realize. Remus and Sirius were always so close, but when it came down to someone possibly betraying James, each was suspicious of the other, and there had to have been a reason for that - a reason that Remus would consider Sirius the least trustworthy of the group, and why Sirius would think Remus capable of turning his back on his friends. Also, Remus' fear of hurting others was very, very clear to me from the books, and given that, what Sirius did could not possibly have been easily overlooked. It was more than just a dangerous prank - it was a betrayal, it was a complete violation of Remus' boundaries, showed complete disregard for his feelings and the consequences and guilt that -Remus- would suffer. Anyway, I'll stop there before I go on rambling for ages, because trust me, I could. :P
Again, thanks so much for your review. I really really appreciate it!