Hi! Here for your requested review!
Ah, this was such a beautiful beautiful one-shot. I just loved it! I am so glad you requested this from me and I got a chance to read this remarkably well piece. Great work! I don't even see why you should be concerned about this at all, this is such a perfect piece of writing, nevertheless, I'll touch upon your concerns.
Your characterisation of Narcissa was amazing. I am a Narcissa-fan myself and write her a lot, so I was very eager to see how you portray her. Needless to say, I was not disappointed at all. You have done a fabulous job in crafting her beautiful yet complex personality. I have always thought of her as the caring one, the one who really understands family, and wants her family safe and sound and happy, and I think you did a great job of emphasising on this aspect of hers. What I loved the most, is that her feelings and 'mourning' stretched far beyond her immediate family, and also how much she really regretted the war. I think you have done it very well.
"She cried for the hopelessness of the situation, the ending of an age and the murder of so many futures. She cried for the loss of innocence, the loss of naivety, the loss of laughter and youth and hope." - This sentence is just so powerful, and it is one of my favourite quotes from the story. I think, here, you express Narcissa's pain very beautifully and aptly, so hats off.
In fact, throughout the one-shot, you have expressed Narcissa's pain exceptionally well, with your amazing descriptions, and I was really into the narrative while reading. The imagery is very vivid too, and I especially enjoyed the part where she is remembering everything that used to happen in the ballroom. I could almost see it happening before my eyes, and it was great. The way Narcissa can still 'see' it all just how much she wants everything to go back to normal again. The small detail about Bellatrix and Andromeda being almost like twins and being sort of inseparable was incredible, as it really makes you realize just how much times change that both sisters went in completely different directions.So, here I'd like to compliment you on your well-thought-out plot details.
Talking about the plot, I think this was a very unique concept - something I've hardly seen captured in fanfiction - so great job there. I loved the idea of the ballroom, of the dust accumulating there, and of Narcissa reminscing old times, mourning, and regretting the war. I think you wove a very intricate and marvellous plot, and have executed it wonderfully. I think I have talked about the content too, so I really don't need to touch on it separately, since it was all very nicely done. The flow was very smooth and the entire thing was just so neat and beautiful, I can't really point out in any flaws. It was very consistent and very realistic, and I really really liked reading it.
I didn't see any grammar/technical errors either, so I don't have any CC to give you at all. So, to wrap it up, I'd just say that this is a very powerful and beautiful story and I loved every word of it. Your characterisation, plot, content, flow, pace, grammar, descriptions - everything is just perfect.
You have a great writing style, and I wish I could write like you! Wonderfully done, indeed. 10/10
Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by and I'm so so sorry for the late review response, I've had exams and things which have got in the way! :(
I love Narcissa too, she's such a complicated character, so I was a bit scared about approaching her! And I totally agree - she's definitely very family-oriented and more emotional, I think, than most of her family, even if she doesn't always show it. Part of me also kinda considers her as slightly 'delicate', as in she can't cope with emotionally taxing things, particularly when she's younger, and she's idealistic, so she feels things like the war a lot more.
Thank you so much! I tried to incorporate the feel of the original song from the musical into it, so that was really where the idea for the ballroom and such came into it. I've always had this little thought that Bella and Andromeda were close, because Bella seemed to take her betrayal really personally. I mean, sure, she was insane, but it was a little too personal, so yeah... and I liked the idea that they looked so much like each other. It is so sad that they were torn so far apart! :(
Thank you! :) I can't really claim all the credit for the idea, since it was based (and heavily) on a song, so most of it comes from there, but thank you so much!
Gah, thank you so so much for this review! I'm really finding it difficult to find the words to reply to this. I just can't stop smiling every time I read this... thank you so much! :) :) :)