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Review:MissMdsty says:
One thing I didn't mention in the first review is how much I love both the banner and the summary for this story. Though I did stare at the banner for a few minutes trying to place the second girl (the dark haired one). But after I did that, I was very happy!

When writting a story about twins, it's very difficult to underline both their differences and their similarities. Since, of course, they have to be similar but at the same time they need to be their own individuals. I'd say you rose to the challenge pretty well in this chapter. But one thing I did notice is that you developed the character of Violet a bit more than Ruby, so far. The first chapter was a race to the altar (literally) and this one was more focused on the characters. Another thing I wanted to see was how Harry reacted to the news of his son being forced into an Unbreakable Vow by the Grim Reaper.

The chapter was paced nicely, with sufficient descriptions to really be able to tell what is happening around the characters and how they are feeling. I did pick up on two things though.

The first is this. During the next 10 mins. The use of abbreviation here makes the story feel like it was written in a hurry. Like a reviewer once told me, telling a story is a walk not a marathon. There is no need to hurry.

And the second “Sad that the lime light if off of you for the day?" I think you meant "is off".

Other than that, it was a very interesting chapter and I am curious to see how this story will develop. Good luck!

Author's Response: yay! im glad you liked the banner! the ppl at TDA are very talented indeed :P

Im glad you could see things that were different between Amber and Violet =) Yah next chapter will have more of Amber being developed as a character promise =)

i'll take a look at those things! thts some rele good advice haha.

thank you! glad you liked it


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