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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hello! Iím here with your requested review, I think you requested before with chapter 1, so Iím here to review chapter 2!

I liked the idea of putting muggle appliances in a magical world, as in some cases they are more useful, and with Hermione being muggleborn and all it seemed very fitting!

I think you caught her mannerisms very well, and with the whole condensing tone, and vocabulary it seemed very her. Make sure you keep it up, as in most stories about Hermione, especially Draco/Hermione ones, she has a tendency to change dramatically which gets very annoying.

I noticed a typo here Ė Ď?First,í Iím not sure where the question mark is meant to go, but if you just proofread it, you can eliminate errors like these very easily.

I liked the idea of Hermione having to learn pureblood traditions, as I always imagined them having very weird and strange ones, so itíll be funny to see her attempts at learning them.

As to addressing your points of concern:

I think it is quite interesting, but the chapter lengths are on the short side, so they donít tend to grip the reader as much, therefore not gaining as much interest. So to fix these it would simply be to write longer chapters.

It flowed well, and you could understand what was going on throughout, as you explained your ideas thoroughly so the reader knew exactly what was going on.

I hope this review has helped, and I havenít been too critical! Thanks for the interesting read:)

Author's Response: patronus_charm,

You weren't too critical. LOL I only see one critque and that is what I was wanting. I thank you for your honesty.

These first few chapters have been more informational than plot producing. I've been trying to introduce the characters but I hope/the plan is to have longer chapters coming up.

I'm going to try to keep Hermione as a level headed as she is now and not become a swooning idiot. I've read those stories and I'm not a fan. Please let me know if I start to go too far off cousre with her character. It won't hurt my feelings.

Thank you for the great review!!!

Meg


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