Hello! Iím here with your requested review, I had never read a Draco/OC before, so I was very excited to do so, as I love Draco!
I really love how you used the short sentences to reflect that this is Dracoís thoughts. Thoughts are rather short and blunt when they come to changing, so that was very effective, as you got a real sense of how his emotions were affected by each individual thing. Iím glad that you didnít do it through the entire thing, as otherwise the flow would have been lost, and it would have been too choppy.
As for Dracoís characterisation I thought it was excellent. As he never seems to express that many emotions, and at times is very hard to read, but you seemed to capture his mood very well. You could get a real sense of all the heartbreak and regret he was feeling, and couldnít help but feel sorry for him, as he seems to have gone through a lot.
I liked the little flashbacks as they were really effective, and complemented his present thoughts very well. I liked how Catherine appeared to be rather free and more relaxed than Draco is, as then both of their personalities would complement each other. Though she only had a minor appearance, you felt that you got to know her, and could connect with Dracoís pain over her.
I liked the AU bit about the Order being able to save Draco and provide him with security, as it was very plausible, and the fact that Catherine took him there, and saved him from the dark side was very well done.
I thought the ending was lovely and unexpected, but now I think about it, you did allude to it by his heartbreak, and it ties in very well. The Avada Kedavra was well placed in the beginning and I liked the use of foreshadowing.
I thought this was an excellent one-shot, and Iím sure youíll do well in both of the challenges! Thanks for the great read :)
Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
This is the first time I attempted a Draco/OC so I am glad you liked it!
Yeah, I wanted to start off with some jumbled thoughts but felt like I shouldnt overdo it, so they become normal-ish as it progressed. I am pleased that you liked that.
Its great to know that you found Draco's characterisation to be excellent. I tried my best to capture him and his mood, so I am glad it worked for you. My aim was to make readers feel sorry for him so I am happy that it worked!
I wasn't too sure about the flashbacks and how effective they were, so I am pleased to hear that you found them effective and that you think they complemented the present. I am happy that you could connect with Catherine despite her short appearance.
I always wanted things to work out with Draco, so this was my chance to fulfil the fantasy of mine and give Draco his AU spin. I wanted to show Catherine as being the one who always showed him a 'way', so I used her to guide him to the Order too.
I was afraid that the ending might be too predictable but I am glad it came across as unexpected to you, and that you think it ties in well. I do enjoy foreshadowing so its great you liked that!
Thank you so much for your lovely review, it totally made my day =)