Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi, Kayla!

I love reading about Remus transforming with his friends. We know he was able to keep himself a bit more being around them, and I think you displayed that really well here.

The progression Remus goes through, from being driven mad by the scent and needing to attack, to steadily realizing who these things are and accepting their companionship.

I loved that he's still fierce even while being 'playful'... Like he thinks, he's still a monster. But he's come to adjust to his pack and I think you showed that perfectly here.

I would take a look at your first paragraph. You used slowly a handful of times, making it feel a bit rough. It smoothed out considerably right after that though :) so maybe just editing a few of the of the adverbs out in favor of more description.

Besides that, this was a really awesome piece and I can't think if a better moment to use for the 500 word challenge. I really felt the transformation and the adjustment from blood thirsty to pack member. Every sentence you used went a long way in creating a really vivid piece.

Really great read, m'dear!


Jami

Author's Response: Hey, Jami! :D

Aww thank you! I love Wolf!Remus. :D

I'm pretty sure in the books he says that he was able to communicate better with the rest of the Marauders when they were their Animagi forms. So I tried to incorporate that in there. I'm glad I pulled it off! :D

I did too, thank you for pointing that out! I haven't been able to edit it yet, I'll definitely fix that up soon!

Thank you so much for all your compliments, you're far too kind. ♥

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net