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Review:Arithmancy_Wiz says:
Hi, aqua. Thanks for replying to my status post.

I don't get a chance to read this pairing very often, so I hope you don't mind that I picked this one to review.

This was definitely a very emotional one-shot. You really tapped into a wide range of feelings in a relatively short space. The characterization of Teddy was very different from the way I usually see him portrayed, and it's really nice to see authors put their own spin on different characters. He was incredibly dark here, very selfish and possessive. It was nice to see you give him some depth beyond just "being in love." Though with that dark side, I was glad to see Dom push back and not accept that sort of behavior from him. She must have feelings for him or they wouldn't be having an affair, but it was good to see her willing to do something to make herself happy.

I did notice some grammatical errors that made the story a bit hard to read at times. I won't point them all out here since I'm not sure if you already have a Beta you plan on sending this to, but here are two repeating issues I noticed in a couple of spots throughout the chapter: (1) When a character is addressing another character by name, you need to include a comma before the name (and after if it's in the middle of the sentence). For example, the line "I am getting married Teddy Remus Lupin and you cannot do anything about that" should have a comma before Teddy and after Lupin. (2) When you have a thought that ends in an exclamation point or question mark, you don't need the comma too. For example: I proved you wrong!, he thought, should be either: I proved you wrong! he thought; or I proved you wrong, he thought; or even simple I proved you wrong (since the italics already tell the reader this is something Teddy is thinking). But you don't need both.

Thanks again for replying to my post and sharing your story with me!

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for reviewing!

I did go in and fix the things you mentioned! I wasn't sending this to a Beta so thank you for pointing the problems out =)

Glad you liked Dom and Teddy haah


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