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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here again!

Okay, so this chapter features another attention-grabbing opening paragraph! There's no way I could ignore anything with Regulus Black.

I was really happy to see Ellie showing some flaws in this chapter:

"... every single ghost I came across, needed me. I never asked for them. They always came looking for me." (arrogance)

"'So, go away,' I said. I could hear the defensiveness in my tone, and I internally cringed." (defensiveness)

These flaws make her seem more real. So far you have successfully avoided Mary Sue territory.

I liked her exchange with Regulus for the most part -- I like that he smirks constantly and behaves a bit impishly -- but I question whether he would really say "TTYL" as he leaves. She can't believe it, either, which is part of the joke, but unless he's just going to be a punchline there needs to be some compelling reason for him to use it. Is he using it ironically? Is he desperately trying to talk like a teenager, even though he's been around for over 50 years? It would be interesting to find out why he talks the way he does in a later chapter. ;)

I didn't catch any grammar issues in this chapter!

Finally, I really like your portrayal of Ginny, and that she is able to break through Ellie's snarky shell to her squishy emotional core with the watch. :)

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm beginning to realise that Regulus Black appears to be a difficult character to ignore! I think he's been the most popular character so far!

And thank goodness her flaws are apparent already! She isn't perfect, but sometimes, she likes to think that she's the emperor of the universe, and it's awesome that you picked up on it!

The "TTYL" thing I debated over for a while. I put it there on a whim, and when I went back to edit, I think I changed it about fifty times. But in the end, I stuck with it. I'm actually not sure if I should take it any further or not, but you've given me some interesting ideas concerning his character, so I could possibly make more of it than I initially planned!

And yes! NO GRAMMAR ISSUES! THE GRAMMAR NAZI WITHIN IS APPEASED!

And I adore Ginny. It's wonderful to hear someone who likes my portrayal of her!


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