Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:caoty says:
Hey, it's me (obviously), finally getting around to reviewing the entries for the horror/dark challenge.

So, I'm going to kind of be reviewing as I read this - possibly not the most clever idea I've ever had - so apologies if I don't make sense at all.

Minerva's characterisation is pretty damn good here; she juggles a fierce desire to love and protect people with her moral principles, and doesn't quite manage it as much as her later self would have. I've basically just got all that from the lines:
'You know what he is now.

You know what he wants.

You know.
Absolutely perfect, then, so far.

Tom, too, is looking pretty in character so far, which from the tiny tiny number of Minerva/Tom fics I've read, is pretty rare. The almost stream-of-consciousness-y way you've chosen to present how Minerva hears and interprets the gossip about him is lovely: those whispers are insidious, and they have powerful implications which put Minerva into a very difficult position. (Or, y'know, maybe I'm just overanalysing a few lines. I dunno.)

That said, I'm not sure I understand what Tom's motives here are in manipulating Minerva. Is he trying to mould her into what Bella later becomes? If so, he's chosen the wrong person to do it to, and he should probably be able to work that out by way of whatever of his Legilimency he's managed to develop. If he just wants a strong magic user on his side, she's not worth the amount of effort that he has to put in to getting her.

If he actually means what he says, well then - that sounds like fun. I'll stop speculating now and get back to reading.

This line:
"Insanity becomes you, darling."
is gorgeous. A bit melodramatic, sure, but then Tom is a bit melodramatic, so it works.

That break-up - oh, darling. Your imagery there and the depth of emotion is just really well done. As was that last line.

Technical bit: you've got a few typos, mostly things like confusing 'its' with 'it's' and the like.

Anyway, you should be proud of this, because it's gorgeous. Thank you for entering this into the challenge! :D

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 197
Submit Report: