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Review:deceptive_serenade says:
Oooh, such a good start :D

I'll admit, I kind of groaned when I saw the first few lines in the first chapter -- another fic starting at the platform? SERIOUSLY?! -- but it was totally different. I always wondered why muggles didn't just fall through the barrier, so it worked really really well.

(so yes, I stopped groaning and started grinning, haha)

I think you've got a great handle on the writing aspect... just make sure you edit a little more carefully, because I caught a few grammar mistakes and missing commas. I'm sure those are just typos, though.

Characters: I think you developed Spencer's character well, but James is sort of... hmm. Well, we just don't know him well enough yet, other than the fact that he's really sweet and good looking. Which is fine for now, because Spencer just met him. And it's totally fine that Spencer already likes him, because she's basically just physically attracted to him, but be careful when/if she falls in LOVE with him. By that time, she and James both had to have gone through major character development.

Sorry, I just think that characters are a HUGE part of the plot/story. I'd be happy to help you with characters anytime you want. :)

I noticed you posted this as a novel... do you have intentions of stretching out their romance? Make sure you pace these things well, keeping readers intrigued for the entire story :)

I love the sarcastic humour you've got. It just seems to come naturally for you, with Spencer's somewhat dreamer/cunning/naive character.

The banner... it's really pretty, but it doesn't exactly fit the story's atmosphere :P I'd recommend looking for a banner with brighter colours, perhaps simpler? But that's not that important, haha.

Umm... basically, I really like what you've got so far. Keep going :D

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