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Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

Hey, there. Sorry that it took me a minute to get to you, I've been sort of busy and I've been trying to type more and such and get stories wrapped up before I go to basic. Anyway, so we're back with Sirius! It took a minute but he was able to see that something was wrong after a while and the buildup was really nicely done. There was this panicky moment as I waited for him to find out what happened with Mary becuase I really wanted to know if she was okay. I was worried that something really bad had happened in between her getting found and taken to the hospital wing. :(
But at least we know she'll be all right and I liked that Sirius had the decency to be nice to George, even though he's jealous of him and Thalia.
On that end, I love what you've done with their relationship. I never would have thought she'd talk about her father and the way he died to anyone and to share it with Sirius was a really profound moment. There's this brimming attraction between them that I really like and I can't wait to see what happens later on down the line. :3
As for CC's, I think your flow is good, though you could take some bigger dialogue and make it shorter. Other than that, no grammar things that I spotted and I really loved it! :)
Let me know when you update again.
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi! Don't worry I know what life can get like, and it should take priority over fan fiction! I'm glad that you liked the buildup as I thought it was quite boring, but I guess when you keep on editing it, it will get boring! I'm glad that you wanted to know whether Mary would be ok or not, as I wanted to make people worried *insert evil laugh* ;)

Yes I thought even though Sirius can be mean, in situations like this he would be mature, as it's not really George's fault that he was too slow to ask Thalia out!

Yes I thought she wasn't really going to talk about it, but I knew the readers needed to know why. So I thought if she's already upset she would be more likely to say why he died, and Sirius has a complex family as well so it seemed to fit!

Yeah I didn't really know how to cut some of Thalia's dialogue down as it very long at times, so I'll go back and see if any can go!

The next chapter's in the queue so I should be back soon!

Thank you for the lovely and helpful review!

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