Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:teh tarik says:
Hello! I was on my way to read the second chapter of Hazardous (as I said I would, many weeks ago when I first reviewed Chapter 1 :P ), but the title of this story caught my eye and I had to come over and check it out :) And I'm so glad I did.

Because it's such a lovely piece. You used a very unusual but enthralling narrative style - an unseen narrator, perhaps addressing the really conveyed a sense of quiet intimacy to the prose and the narration. And yet there is also that distance between the tone of the narration and the characters. Intimate and distant. I'm not making sense :P With each segment, you offer a beautiful and poignant snapshot of the lives of each Marauder plus Lily, revealing some of their deepest fears, their greatest values...all their vulnerabilities, really. And then you end each segment with that dull heavy sentence "...just a casualty of war." It's this sentence that really forces this huge distance between the reader and the characters, it's a sentence that takes away all the light and life of the prose, of each character all too suddenly. It's really carefully structured and I think you did a brilliant job with this.

And of course your characters were wonderful. Your lovely sparkling prose really breathed so much life into them. The parts with Remus and Sirius were especially heartbreaking, because they live for such a long time in so much pain and so much grief. But really, it's Peter's part which caught my eye. It certainly is a refreshing perspective of Peter, and these lines were especially wonderful:

Maybe it started as a struggle to keep them all alive.

Maybe he believed that if he just slipped information, just enough to satisfy Him, they wouldn't attack the only people he'd ever really cared for.

You wrote Peter with just so much compassion. I really love it when a writer does not judge his/her characters no matter what he/she has done. I love it when writers write with compassion. With all his tragic flaws, his mistakes, everything and especially how Peter is not put on the hero pedestal - this makes him the most real and most human character in your story. Well, at least to me! Others might disagree, since Peter is such an unpopular character :P (though there's very good reason for this, I suppose). And I'm so glad your story ended with Peter! The ending wouldn't have had as much impact if it had closed on, say, Sirius or something.

You have some beautiful imagery as well - the windswept flower-filled meadow to represent Lily, the sun and light for James, a storm for Sirius etc. Your descriptions were quite lovely. But really, it's the little personal details that really stood out for me e.g.

Dont get me wrong, she had her faults. If you only had one slice of dessert left, shed make sure to somehow swindle it out of you. Then after she ate it, shed complain about how full she was.

And sleeping! Good luck. The girl would wake up with the sun, then nudge at you until you did the same.

These are some of the loveliest moments of the story :) Filled with lightness and warmth...there's none of the gorgeous but abstract imagery, instead these are really small, really personal moments - it's just so...human - these moments really bring Lily down to earth from any pedestal that anyone might put her up upon...

OK, I'm sorry, it's nearing 3am and I'm getting rather incoherent :P So I'm just going to tie up this long rambly review by saying that I loved your story very much - it's beautiful, poignant and tragic - and thank you for writing it :)


Author's Response: Hi m'dear!

I was so happy to see a new review for Casualties of War!

This narrative was definitely a new one for me. I'm not even sure what Point of View it would be considered. But I didn't want to give it an actual narrator because I wanted to be the one to talking. I didn't want to pass off my feelings to anyone else. I wanted them! Haha. If any of that makes sense :P

Peter and I have really made piece before I started writing Before They Fall. I figured out where he would go, and I kind of accepted that so I could give him a fair part in all the Marauders. I hate when he's left out. And somewhere along the way I think I really stared appreciated him and caring about him. It surprised me, haha.

I'm so happy you liked the warmer sections with Lily and James. I was afraid they felt sort of flat compared to the other sections, but at the same time James and Lily's life ended before it could see the level of tragedy that their friends did.

I think I'm getting rather incoherent myself, but it's currently the afternoon so I have no excuse :P

I can't tell you how happy I am that you loved this. And describing it as beautiful and tragic is such a huge compliment... I could just hug you. In fact, here, have an internet hug *hug*.

This review was such an awesome surprise, thank you so much ♥

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 336
Submit Report: