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Review:adluvshp says:
Hello! Here again for your requested review.

I am quite liking the way this story is going. Usually in parody stories, its hard to maintain balance between humour and normalcy, but I was pleased to see that you managed the balance quite well. The intensity of the plot and the humour of the situation was both maintained.

You characterised Snape quite well too, He acted exactly how I'd imagine him to behave. I am also liking Peony's characterisation, I especially liked how she questioned rules without really deviating from her "ignorant" or I should say clueless personality. Oh, and I also enjoyed Terrence and his thought-processes, quite amusing really. And of course, I loved Draco in this haha. So, I think you've written all your characters pretty well, and the narrative seems to be fun.

The only CC I have is that I felt like the initial few paragraphs were a little too overdone to me - I did laugh at some of the lines - but it felt sort of dragged, so I would just suggest on editing those parts. I'd also suggest that you polish your grammar a little - I know its a parody so people usually dont care about grammar in such stories - but to me it matters a lot. So, it would be great if you could pay some attention to that, especially to your punctuation.

But apart from that, I think its a great story, and you really know what you're doing (which is rarely the case in parody stories). I am not a humour stories person - I love angst and dark stuff a lot more - but I still seem to like the story, so that is saying something xP

All in all, good work.

I'd give this a 8/10!


Author's Response: Hello again!

Whew. I'm glad you felt that the plot and the humor were maintained. I think that's the hardest part about writing a piece like this.

I'd really like to clean this chapter up a bit. Would you mind terribly if I asked you to PM me an example of where I went wrong with my grammar and punctuation? I don't mean the whole thing, maybe just one spot so I can see what you mean... it would be very helpful if you could do that.

Thanks so much for another review!

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