|Review:||The Misfit says:|
Hello! I'm back! XD
I really like how you plunge us right into the action in the beginning of this chapter! Ooh, and the way Remus wonders about whether McGonagall's ability to lie stems from her Hogwarts days is really fun! It adds depth to Remus, and is very realistic - I'm sure we've all wondered what our teachers' out-of-school lives were like more than once! XD
I really like how you have Remus understand how Wolf feels and what makes him want to go running - it really emphasizes how they're connected. And yet at the same time, you remind us that they're very different with Remus being reluctant to assert authority over Sirius. Reading this story, I'm actually inclined to say that there are actually five Marauders, not four! :3 (Oh, and I love your description of the way Sirius smells to Remus, haha!)
Awww, that transformation was so painful! You do an excellent job of describing it so that I just want to glomp Remus and tell him that it'll all be okay even though we know it won't be. ♥
I really love how Wolf behaved in such a canineish, wolfish fashion. I've often felt that clothes are evil sometimes and I actually know what they are, but Wolf doesn't and it's really fun to see that - you're really awesome at balancing out the angsty bits with sprinkles of humour! :D
Ugh, Snape. He's a real idiot at times, isn't he? So's Sirius too. >.< The way you described James and Severus' fight was really believable, and the way you described how Wolf wanted to fight Severus and protect James was fantastic, especially when Severus won the duel and began approaching the Whomping Willow. It was a really realistic portrayal of animalistic behaviour, so kudos to you! XD
I really liked the addition about the Whomping Willow shuddering (is that even a word?) inside its tunnel as it moved its branches. It's something I've never thought about, but it sounds really believable and if someone bred / grew the Willow for the purpose of concealing people / werewolves / whatnot then it would make sense to have an internal warning in case someone did actually get past the branches. The way you just pick up on those little details is amazing, Rosie!
I love how you portrayed Peter as a reasonably sensible person, instead of making him mysteriously disappear as a lot of Marauders' authors do. (I have a feeling I mentioned this in a previous review...?) The way he sees the whole situation and puts it into perspective and really highlights why Peter's a part of the group. AND YOU BROKE MY HEART, ROSIE. The way Remus wanted so badly to punch Sirius for what was sheer stupidity but was too afraid to in case it ruined their friendship... omg major feels. You make me want to hug Remus more and more each chapter - he's going to run out of oxygen if this continues, you know. ;)
Awww at the Remus/Lily scenes. They have such a cute friendship. :3 I'm really glad that you didn't make Lily completely in the dark as to where Remus disappeared to monthly, as I'm sure she would've noticed the disappearances, and it's incredibly believable that she didn't figure it out until pushed in the right direction... it's kind of how she didn't want to consider the idea of Remus being a werewolf until Severus made her actually look at the evidence, and I think that's really true of people in RL who tend not to notice the flaws of people they care about. ♥
I did notice a few typos, and once again I'll list them:
"I lost it completely by the time to my trousers’ button and zipper" < I think you mean "by the time I reached my trousers'"? :3
"piece of clothing before he pouncing" < the "he" isn't needed here.
"unmoving along with man with a long beard" < it should be either Man (as in human) or "a man".
"“Sirius is very crossed with James,” Peter said as he scribbled rapidly on the parchment while not looking at me. “Thinks that James betrayed him by protecting Snape. Meanwhile James is crossed with Sirius" < twice here you've said "crossed" - it should be "cross". :)
"that Grayback thought of biting me" < his name is spelt Greyback with an "E" - although I know Americans spell grey with an a, and I don't know if the US edition spells it Grayback. If it does, feel free to ignore me. :3
Minor typos aside - they didn't really detract from the story that much, I just notice them without actually looking for them - this was yet another fantastic chapter, and you really keep it to the wonderful standard that you set in your first two chapters, so congratulations. Honestly, Rosie, this story just gets better and better - you're a really talented author! ♥
Author's Response: Dun dun dun! Last review to answer!
McGonagall lived a pretty interesting life! I'm sure that she broke plenty of rules when she was at Hogwarts. Remus is a smart man, I'm sure he kinda knows of Minerva's 'revel' streak.
You know, I never really thought about it but I guess there were five, not four! Hahaha! Wolf has slowly become this OC within this story. I wasn't really planning on it but he's a completely different character than Remus. He has no qualms about asserting his authority over Sirius. Remus, on the other hand, feels bad if he gets mad at his friends. He feels like he might lose them if he does. Sad but so true.
I'm gonna have to agree with you...clothes are evil! Specially during the summer! XD
Sirius deserves to be punched. More than once I'm sure! But yeah, Remus is afraid of losing him as a friend, that's why James is the one that gets angry for him. He's the one that puts Sirius in his place even though it wasn't up to him. James here showed a lot of maturity by trying to stop Snape. He was the only one that thought of the consequences. How was Remus suppose to feel if he were to bite Snape or another student? It would drive him mad! Sirius doesn't think about that.
I don't think Lily would've noticed much without the right push, just like Hermione. I mean, she would've suspected something was wrong but nothing like being a werewolf.
Those typos are going to be the death of me. Let me fix them. *Several minutes later* Done!! All typos fixed.
Thank you so much for the compliment! I feel super bad that I took forever to respond to your reviews so I'm going to head over to your page to read something.
I hope to see you around again! Thanks for everything!