Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi m'dear! I'm really wanting to take this review a thon as a chance to read new authors that I have yet to explore, so here I am!

This is a short start, but it still gets across what you need and gets the reader curious :) which is perfect for a first chapter!

I think that you made a really good decision with setting this as the characters are older and out of school. It makes it original already, and I'm excited to see what grown up James is like.

I would suggest being careful with Muggle electronics. Not that I'm saying wizards wouldn't have any, but just try and get in a few details (eventually, when the time is right) about how he got curious in Muggle electronics and such.

I think having your OC dwell a bit on what the purpose of it was, before getting herself to get out of the mind frame was such a good touch. It's a very smooth way to show us that she really needs a change in her life.

This was a lovely first chapter!

Jami

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I just figured being in the 21st century or whatever, they would at least use computers and what not. :) Thanks again!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 855
Submit Report: