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Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

So, its Gabbie with your requested review and I'm so sorry that I'm late. I would have read all of the stories in my thread but I've been annoyingly busy and such. So this is the story that you had mentioned to me on the forums? I see what you've changed here and there if this is the same story and I think that I liked the idea you were going with. I was really horrified while I was reading this to see Emylina being held on display in front of her entire village and being tortured. I wasn't able to figure out what was happening and I really loved the build up of suspense you showed. It was very well-done and I got a sense of her character very well from the first few paragraphs. On some things, she felt a tad passive and I think, given the situation that you might not have needed it. But I think you were going more for disbelief, which worked out better towards the middle when you decided to speak about her relationship with her father. The bits about the village made me think that this is a period piece and I'm not sure if you meant to make it that way but it was really interesting! :D
In the Wizarding world its hard to tell though! But her family being capable of magic and then abusing their power really struck out to me. It seems like it came back to haunt them and Oh! Abandoned after getting pregnant?! More problems and plot grips I see! I was so thankful that the strange man DID come to help her after she'd been tortured by her father but apparently, her father is a wanted man! Now you've got me curious! :D
I wonder what you're going to do next, since Emylina has to marry the man. I hope you give alot of detail and such into that!
As for CC's, I think you should add in a few words ahead of a sentence to make it flow better. Like, "Difference was" could just simply be, "The difference was," and the sentence would flow alot easier. There were some spelling things but a quick read will take care of those!
Otherwise, this is a pretty interesting story, I really like your idea! :D
Thanks for the read!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! Im glad you got around to reviewing =)

glad you liked the story! its quite a complicated plot and Emylina is really impassive about things since thats just the type of person she is actually :P

You will see more about her father and James as the story moves on =)

I fixed the sentences so it could flow better. thanks for pointing it out !

thanks for reviewing!


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