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Review:Courtney Dark says:
Hello there! Thank you so much for requesting this story-I'm glad you found my last review helpful:)

This is such an interesting concept you have going on here! I don't think I've ever read anything like it. You clearly have a very creative mind and think up extremely unique and interesting ideas, judging by the stories of yours that I have read. This story especially is certainly not cliche or cheesy, like so many next generation, especially James II/OC stories often are.

This was definitely a very dark, frightening way to start of the story. Your imagery and descriptions in this chapter were spot on and the flow was lovely, especially in the beginning. I loved the way you talked about the village, and how your main character desperately tried to fit in, but how this meant that she lost her father's respect. It almost felt like I was reading a story set in the Founder's era-now I'm not saying that is a bad thing. I'm just saying that your use of language was lovely!

The way you wrote the cruciatus curse was very well done. I could really feel you OC's pain, and the language you used to describe it was great. Often in fanfiction, torture scenes are a little...unrealistic if you know what I mean. They are either to overdone or too underdone. You, however, struck the perfect balance.

I must admit, I got a little confused near the end, but I think that was mainly because of the mystery that surrounds this first chapter. I am very interested to find out more about this Richard and learn more of Emylina's backstory.

Overall, this was a great first chapter. Thanks for the read!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hey Courtney :D

Thanks for stopping by=)

Glad you like the concept! I didn't want a cheesy story so I tried to keep it really different. Glad to know I succeeded !

haha yes that was the plan! you will see later how that fits in =)

thank you! i was trying hard to be more descriptive.

thank you!


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