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Review:academica says:
Hello, here from Review Tag!

Hmm, this is an interesting start. It was kind of neat to get Draco's perspective on how things had gone for him and his family during the latter part of the war, beginning with the incidents at their house. I like his characterization in some ways, like the way he seems so callous and determined not to let himself feel anything illogical about the situation. I have to admit, the couple of paragraphs about Dobby gave me pause, because I assumed based on Lucius's treatment of the elf and Draco's general attitude toward non-pureblood beings that Draco would also dislike Dobby. But I don't think we're ever told that, now I think about it, and I like the idea of Dobby being there for a young, hurt boy. It's also interesting how Draco dismisses Astoria out of hand; I wonder what'll happen next.

I did notice a few run-on sentences and typos here that clutter this up a bit. For example, this:

Then there's me I don't really know what to do or how to act

should be...

Then there's me--I don't really know what to do or how to act.

I also think you can put more commas in to break up some of your longer sentences, and that you should watch your narrative style a little; Draco seems to shift between more informal language, like that above in the sentence I picked out, and more formal language (like calling his parents Father and Mother instead of Dad and Mum). I'd recommend going back and proofreading it to see if you can edit it more.

Nice start :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda, thank you for leaving such a helpful review!

I'm glad that you liked Draco's perspective as it's not covered much and I always wondered what he was thinking after the war, so it was interesting to write:)

I'm glad that you grew on the idea of Draco liking Dobby, as I see the way Draco acted at Hogwarts as more of an insecurity issue, and being big headed, and having a bad home life, than his actual views, so I guess that's where I got the idea from.

Yes Draco is rather opinionated, and he didn't even wait to meet Astoria before deciding whether he liked her or not.

I just edited this chapter yesterday, so I hope that the grammar errors and typos have been erased, but I will have another read through once the next version has been validated.

Thanks for the review, Kiana :)

P.S. I just saw that you joined Ravenclaw, welcome to the best house and I hope you like it here ;D

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