Hi there! Iíve seen your name around on the forums and on review for stories, so I wanted to come by and stalk...err.. check your AP ;).
I love the way youíve already started characterizing everyone. George and Lee are destructive little force that are constantly threatening to tear down the house (no surprise there) Angelina lets them humor themselves so long as they donít take it too far... a few very important pieces of characterization that were places so well! I love when authors do that.
And you didnít ignore the fact that Fred IIís mother is black by making him pale as snow with red hair. THANK YOU. Although he seems to have the nickname of Perce, right? I donít read a ton of next Gen... going to google. okay. Google is telling that she does only have one brother and that itís Fred. So Iím sticking with Perce having to be a nickname.
Oh! And Hermione just referred to him as Fred! Okay, itís definitely just a nickname. Sorry, I probably seem like such an idiot. As I said, Iíve only read a handful of next gen so Iím not familiar with some of the small details ;).
I liked that you were able to include a pretty good amount of the Weasley family members in this! The section with George and Roxanne was incredibly sweet. I love the idea of George having a daddyís girl.
Also! Youíve made Audrey so different than Iíve ever read her (and Iíve never really liked things Iíve read about her). I know she might donít be a huge part of this, but sheís intelligent and fiery and brings Percy out of is stuffed up comfort zone. Awesome job with that!
Hahhah George telling her that the OWLS he got was all about luck. Thatís so perfect. Iím getting all these warm George Fred leaving Hogwarts on their brooms feels.
Their betting with the kids! Not WITH them obviously, but with who takes them for the summer. Thatís genius. And I loved that it seems like their all so close. The idea that George and Percy would have gotten a lot closer after.. after.. you know... is one I really like, and it definitely seems like that in this first chapter.
Ohhh and who is the Benjamin Malfoy!? Nice cliffy, mídear!!!
Iím excited to read the next chapter, this is a lovely start ♥
Author's Response: Hello!
Ooh, what a nice surprise for me! Hello, nice to meet you, I'm Gabbie! :3 I have seen you on the forums as well but hadn't had the time to properly attack your AP either. Perhaps I'll do that soon? Mwhahahhhaa.
So! Thanks for stopping by to this NG that I've been working on. Means alot, I never think that any of my stories are very popular or anything so I make a big deal when I get a review. :D
Bwhaha, George and Lee are very good friends and horrible to have in your home. Angelina adn the rest have known one another for years so she has a higher tolerance of them than say, a stranger would. Hahah. I thought that making those little hints of family life were very important for this story since family means alot to Roxanne.
Alot of people have commented on Fred the Second's nickname. But yes, its "Perce" short for "Percival" which is his middle name and also their Uncle Percy's whom he's named after. Can you imagine saying Frederick Percival Weasley the Second all the time? *Shudders*
And my god, thank you so much for pointing out the fact that he's black. I don't understand or like the whitewashing but alot of people don't like Georgelina and sometimes don't add her into their stories at all. I mean, Angelina is black so duh, her kids are going to have darker skin and hair, etc, etc. :p
Being black myself I had to wonder why that was such a big deal. :p
Anyhoo! I tried to put as much of the Weasley's into this chapter as possible. They're a big family and its so confusing to keep all of them straight, I have chicken scratch notes on each of the grandkids somewhere.must find that eventually. Hahhaa.
Yep, George is my favorite Weasley like EVER and making Roxanne a daddy's girl just seemed to fit. He's the sort of parent that spoils his kids and doesn't care about the consequences. Hahhaa.
Audrey IS alot different from how she's usually written, isn't she? I think so, I mean, I've only read a handful of stories with her and never really seen one quite like mine. :)
Ego boost? Perhaps. Hahhaa.
She's good for Percy though and helps him take life a little less seriously so I'm glad that you liked it!
Bwhaha, George is such a liar! He and Fred didn't even try hard on their OWLs! Hahaha.
George and Audrey bet on the children alot, they're very good frenemies? Hahhaah.
But George and Percy are very close after Fred's death. D': R.I.P. Freddie! I wanted to make that very clear, I hate thinking of everyone so distant with one another, it makes me sad. :(
Beware of Benjamin Malfoy as you continue reading. He's not for the faint of heart. HAHAHA. ;)
Thanks for reading and I owe you bunches, I hope to see you again soon! :)