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Review:FredWeasleyIsMyKing says:
Hello :)

Laurenzo7321 here with your requested review!

Well this chapter certainly moved the plot on! Yay, Connor likes Rose and he isn't the babys dad, as I expected :D. I'm glad as it will make the story more interesting.

I'm kind of torn, as a bit of CC I was going to say it would be nice to extend some of it slightly, but then I read your AN and so if your going to explain it all later then please feel free to ignore this next bit. It wasn't just the conversation I missed but I think it would have been nice to see more interaction between the girls and Rose, especially Molly as she's a new character. I'd have also liked to have read when Rose wrote in her diary; her trying to come to terms with what Connor's said maybe? I hope you don't think I'm being mean or anything, I like everything you've wrote and would have just loved to have read some more :) If you are going to go back over this though, like I said, ignore me!

You had a few spelling/grammar mistakes in this; it might be worth re-reading it or maybe getting a beta? These were the few I noticed:

'Um Rose, are going to see Connor today' you missed 'you' out.

'Well at I don't think we are' I don't think you need 'at'?

'Connor's in the living room just thought there.' you have thought instead of 'through'

'I seen her in the village and she asked me to tell you' 'seen' should be 'saw'

'Molly Asked.' asked shouldn't have a capital.

This is really a great story though! I was internally cringing when she told him Nikola was cheating on him! Whoops!

I also think Rose and Connor are really cute together and I like the build up of their relationship so far. Have you come up with a name for them yet? Ronnor? Cose? Haha, I don't know!

Great job!
Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hey,
Yep you were right!! :)

Too be honest I've kinda forgotton some of what I was going to explain but I still remember the basics so hopefully it should be ok. The extra information is in the later chapters which might clear some things up.

I'm quite tempted now to write her diary entry for the end of this chapter now, you've given me some inspiration :)
You're certainly not mean, you're helpful!!!

I have got a beta for this but I haven't heard back off them yet for this chapter. Although I will go back and edit the mistakes.

Rose certainly does have her cringe worthy moments :D

I haven't thought of a name yet, but I'm liking Ronnor! :D

Thanks for the review and CC, it's so helpful!

-Potterfan310
Soph :)


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