Oh, wow! This is really, really intriguing. I love reading fanfictions from ships that can usually grow cliche, Albus/OC being one of them, and I'm always very pleasantly surprised when one is as unique as yours is. As an avid Jily shipper I face the same problems writing fanfics that involve them - with so many stories written, it's hard to find a plot that's really unique, and that can bring people in from the start. But I personally feel that you've done a great job with that. Personally I've never read a story like this one before, so you've at least got me there!
Ellie is adorable! Every time she speaks, or even most of the time when she thinks, I can't help but giggle. She's very much a character with a lot of independence, and someone who can hold their own, so I really hope you continue with that when the fic progresses. I can't stand when authors take a strong OFC and make her character all gushy as soon as whatever canon male comes along and sweeps them off their feet, so I guess this is a little bit me begging you not to do that with her XD I can't imagine you doing so, though, because she seems to be someone who would rather die than be caught getting all mushy over any boy - Albus Potter especially.
Which brings me to my next point; I adore the dynamics of their relationship. Albus was characterized exactly how I imagine him being - a little snarky, quite a bit full of himself, but still having that sweet side that just makes you incapable to do anything but love hin. And I was just swooning over the subtle little implication that he doesn't hate Ellie at all (such a cute name, btw) but actually kinda likes her. It's like they've fallen into this flirty play-fighting, but he's the only one who's noticed that it's a little flirty, while she's still under the impression that they can't stand each other. It's really sweet, and I can't wait to see how it plays out later on in the fic.
I'm rambling, and I apologize, but I just have one last thing to say that I touched on briefly earlier - please, I beg you, keep this story as awesome and unique as it is now. I've been noticing a terrible trend of stories becoming cheesy and the romance rushing in all-too-soon just for the sake of romance, something which really tends to bug me. When you've got a story as awesome as yours, with characters who are as brilliant independent as they are in a relationship, it can really bring down the quality of a story for me when an author just dives into stuff hoping for more reviews or whatever. And I can't see you do that - I've read your other stuff and it's brilliant, so I'm not too worried. I just really love this fanfiction, and I really want it to continue as wonderfully as this first chapter was. As far as first impressions go, you make a pretty good one on me! ;)
Can't wait to read more. Such an awesome start!
Author's Response: Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy rambling reviews? Probably not, but I really, really do! Also, may I just say, that I am totally flattered that you've read my other stuff (and you like it)? Because I totally am!
I, for some reason, really adore stereotypes and cliches - sometimes far too much, but I do. So I couldn't resist including a cliche relationship! It's actually terrible of me, not thinking up a more unique relationship dynamic, but there you have it! Also, the way I wrote Ellie - she'd have a love/hate dynamic with anyone I paired her with. It's part of who she is.
I love writing Ellie! She is just so much fun! She's pretty heavy on the sarcasm, and I absolutely love it! Also, I can throw in as many pop culture references as I like with her! There's nothing like bringing all the fandoms together! And I'm gonna try really hard to stay true to her character. Of all the characters I've written, she's the one that I get the most, so I hope there's little danger of me losing her.
I think you're the first person to notice that about Al and Ellie! I'm really glad that you did! Because it's pretty important. Because that is pretty much what their relationship is, right now. Also, because Al is so swoon-worthy, like all the time, I had to give him a certain snarkiness, just to balance things out a little!
And I'm gonna try really, really hard to keep to the main aim of this story. So for the first time, ever, I'm gonna sit down and plan things. Properly. And it's going to be totally awesome! The planning, I mean. The story can be whatever it wants to be.