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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here again! :)

This is a really sweet chapter! I'm happy to see Charlie coping in the muggle world and obviously very happy with Liz. I think a job like construction definitely would suit him, as you describe.

I would have liked to see a little more conflict in this chapter. Charlie mainly seems to struggle with himself, and while you do mention his hesitance to tell Liz about his family and his family about Liz, I'm interested in seeing more in-depth depiction of his thoughts and actions.

For instance, this is really good: "Liz still believed all of Charlie's family to be dead. This made Charlie feel horrible, and the only way he could convince himself he wasn't lying to his girlfriend was by telling himself that the family thing was just a 'secret' that he was waiting to reveal." But I wonder what kind of inner arguments he has with himself. Also, have there been any close calls over the past year, where Liz found or almost found one of his letters? Has she ever noticed that he is upset about something and asked what's wrong? How would he explain it? I think exploring some of these situations would be really interesting.

I really like Charlie's nervousness when he proposes, and his fear that she may not say yes. He's very endearing in this scene. I like Liz's filterless mouth, too: "Are you sure?" :)

I'm interested to see what happens next, and what happens when Charlie's secret is revealed!

Author's Response: Hi there Elphaba! Welcome back!! And thank you for getting to this so quickly!!

Aww, thank you! I'm really glad you thought this was a sweet chapter; that's what I was aiming for! As for his job, I really couldn't think of any other Muggle job for him! I just had this strong feeling that he'd want to do something outside, and that was the first (and only) thing that came to mind! I'm glad you agree!

I appreciate your suggestion about the need for more conflict, and I can promise you that there's PLENTY of conflict on the way. In fact, a good part of the rest of the story will be conflict-full, so we'll just call this the calm before the storm. XD *winks*

And I know that it's a little later than you anticipated/hoped, but some of what Charlie's been dealing with internally will be revealed in the next chapter, as it leads up to some other conflicts that are coming up. I will definitely re-request once that chapter's up, and when it is, I hope it's what you've been hoping for!! :D

Hehe; Charlie is so cute! I really loved writing him in this chapter, with all his nervousness!

Thank you SO much for the amazing review and feedback, dear! I really appreciate it and I will definitely be back to re-request once Chapter 6 is up!! :D



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