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Review:AlexFan says:
I'm here for your review and just to let you know, I have this TYPO ALARM thing that I do so I'll be doing that throughout the review.

I really liked the beginning, it had a lot of description but there wasn't too much description so that it turned boring.

TYPO ALARM: "Crucio," he said colding.
I think you mean 'coldly' instead of 'colding.' I'm not even sure if 'colding' is even a word to be honest.

I actually already love the main character because she sounds rebellious and strong even if she is being punished.

I want to point out something. If I hadn't known that this was a James Potter II story I would've assumed that it was set in medieval times or something like that because everything sounds medieval. I would've thought that this was taking place in somewhere like Camelot or something because of how everything was described.

To be perfectly honest, that's what I thought it was at first but then I realised that James was there and I was like "right, okay, I'm back to where I'm supposed to be."

I thought Emylina was about to be burned at the stake to be perfectly honest and I was like "oh my God, they're going to burn her!"

Anyway, moving on.

TYPO ALARM: "I guess my father knew my better than I thought."
The word 'me' would work better there than 'my'.

"It was emotion voidless." That sounds grammatically incorrect. Maybe if you switched emotion and voidless so that the sentence read "voidless of emotion," it would make more sense and sound better. I'm actually not even sure if 'voidless' is a word.

Okay, judging by the fact that I keep getting a red line under the word, I'm assuming it's not a word. Okay, well, basically, I think you need to fix that sentence.

TYPO ALARM: "with the amount of things you down"
I'm pretty sure you meant to type in 'done' instead of 'down.'

TYPO ALARM: You used the wrong your/you're when James said "your pregnant."

TYPO ALARM: you used 'my' instead of 'me' again.

Besides the grammatical errors, I actually thought this was a pretty great first chapter and it was really interesting. You had great flow and the characters were also really great as well. Great job on this chapter!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for doing this really!

I went back and re read and fixed all of the typos and put it in the validation again so that should be really helpful thanks a lot!

they are rele cut off from the world hence the whole medieval thing!


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