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Review:AlexFan says:
I am here for your review and so sorry for not being here sooner!

I'm going to spend most of this review on the characters so be prepared for that!

There is nothing redeeming about Tori at all. If your purpose was to make your reader dislike her, I'd say you've pretty much succeeded. Or, at least you have with me, I'm not so sure with everyone else.

In the beginning of the chapter, I didn't completely hate Tori (but I still hated her). She actually seemed to have a conscious but then she ruined that whole thing by saying that she wanted James.

At this point, Tori just sounds like a power-hungry moron. I shudder to think what would happen if she was Minister for Magic.

You also a minor typo. I think you mean that Tori was too 'busy' staring at Albus, not too 'busted'.

I think you did a perfect job of showing that looks can fool people and that they aren't everything with a character like Tori.

Also, about Tori's accident. Did this accident just turn her into major meanie or something because I'm not really sure what accident would cause someone to be completely jealous and power-hungry like her.

When Tori was calling James insecure, it actually occurred to me that it isn't James who is insecure, it's Tori who's insecure.

Another thing, why exactly is Tori in Gryffindor? She doesn't act like a Gryffindor and she certainly doesn't think like one. I can actually see her being in Slytherin because it's more suited to her personality.

I'm really starting to like James, he's the type of guy who doesn't take crap from anybody, not even his girlfriend no matter how hot she is. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about Albus but I'm not his biggest fan for some reason.

I actually feel sorry for Rebecca because she thought that Tori was a hero but Tori was just ruining her life and using it to her advantage but go Aine, she's obviously not bowing down to Tori like everyone else is.

It was actually a pretty good chapter so great job on a well written chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review-it was very helpful and gave me a lot to think about, which is always great.

Tori is definitely a very unlikable character, and there will be more about the 'accident' in future chapters...though I definitely don't think it makes up for her despicable behavior. After all, she really is the antagonist of this story.

You are completely right about Tori being insecure-she obviously has some deep issues, but appears completely horrible and shallow on the outside.

I think the only reason Tori is in Gryffindor is because she is brave-and certainly not in the conventional sense. But you're right, I could definitely see her being in Slytherin too!

I'm glad you like James-he's always a fun character to right, and I hope I haven't written him too cliche.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!
Courtney:)


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