Hi it's patronus_charm with your review, wow you updated quickly *guiltily starts planning next long awaited chapter of story*
I felt kind of sorry for Oliver, because when he was captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team everything usually went perfectly, and the team were always motivated, and then you come to this rather motley crew, and you can just feel his great disapointment. Then he gets his infamous pep talk taken away from him, and you just begin to wonder why he ever agreed to do this.
Cokeworth doesn't sound like a very nice place, does it? With it being described as not very nice through Lily and Snape's memories, and then the dilapidated stadium and changing rooms, you begin to realise why a team coming from there would find it hard to win.
I'm really starting to like Pippa, with her thing about the gum shield, and the way she commits so many fouls. She seems to be the most motivated of the team as well by telling them off for being pessismistic. I have feeling that she's going to be interesting, so I'll look forward to reading more about her:)
I'm guessing from this line ďAnd yet another dropped Quaffle for Puddlemere United," that Puddlemere, are now even worse than the Chudley Canons if that's true, they must be awful! It would be funny to see the match between the two, and see how long it would take before the snitch was finally caught!
Yay Seamus appeared! I've always loved him, just because he's Irish and their accents are cool, so it was nice to see him. It's also always that bit more believable when you include canon characters, as they don't just disappear without a trace, like some people think they do!
I think the plot is great so far, as it really makes the reader want to read on. I'm eagerly anticipating whether Oliver will come up with a great scheme or not, which will save the team!
It flows well, and that makes it easy to read and keeps the reader interested!
As for characterisation I can see how they're all starting to develop their own personalities, and you're starting to have your favourites, Pippa in my case, and that's make you want to carry on reading, as you're eager to see what the next storyline involving them will be!
Overall another great chapter, and no CC's! I'm looking forward to reading more, Kiana :D
Author's Response: Hi there :)
Thank you so much for such a nice (and speedy!) review! Your reviews always make my day :D
I too feel rather sorry for Oliver! But I promise he will get his speech moment! It is coming!
And Cokeworth was never described as a particularly well-maintained town, so it seemed like the perfect place :P
I'm glad you like Pippa! I have to admit I have a bit of a soft spot for her! I read a blog once that said no real person slots into an already designed category, so I'm trying to give these characters a range of different traits, so they don't become boring :)
I'm glad that the story holds your interest, as this was one of the points I was a bit worried about!
Thank yo again for such a lovely review :D