Hey Gabbie, I'm here with your review!
As I've read your one-shot about Percy meeting Audrey before reading this, it was fun to compare what the other one thought of each other, and I loved Audrey's first description of Percy of him being stiff and awkward!
It was really sweet that Audrey liked Percy as well, and thought of him as cute! You can really see how bad a way he was in, if his eyes were all glassy. I'm guessing that Audrey will be the one to help him overcome that, as she's so exuberent and extreme it would have to make him snap out of it! And I guess it was nice that she picked him out, and was going to help him through his grieving by giving him a dance ;)
It was funny how Audrey picked up on little things, as people probably think she's dumb because she's a stripper, when in fact she appears to be rather intelligent. Like her witty remarks, and her worry for the other dancers and the children. She seems to have a rather warm inside, which contrasts nicely, with her haughty exterior!
A little brit pick here, by college I assume you mean university? And burger joint/bar isn't really said much, I guess you would say place:)
N'aw Percy and Audrey were so cute when they were eating, and the way she wanted to see him again, was really sweet as they are polar opposites so having them together, would just be hilarious! Imagine their arguments!
There were a couple of run on sentences, but I can't really criticise you for them, as I'm prone to having loads of them as well! I understand though, as it's just so boring going back and seeing where you need a comma or a full stop!
I would have said more, but I said most of it in That Night, and unless you want another review that long again, but like I said before it was a great chapter as usual Kiana :D
Author's Response: Hello!
Hey there, doll. Always nice seeing you popping back with your reviews that I requested because I like responding to your lovely reviews. And such. :D
It is pretty fun to read this from Audrey's POV, since That Night is basically this whole first chapter from Percy's! She comes off as really sweet and her attraction to Percy just makes it sort of weird, but nice in its own way. She had wanted to give him a free dance and other things, hehehehe.
You know, I had thought of that before too but Audrey isn't stupid just because she dances. I wanted to play on that because it would give her more depth, but she actually notices quite a bit about people. Oddly, her and Percy are alot alike! She's sort of bold and loud and everything he isn't so writing for them is always going to be fun for me. :3
I'm American! Forgive me and my horrid Southern American ways! I might go through and fix those.*sobs*
Hahha. Yes! Percy/Audrey forever! They're very fun to write for and I liked that you enjoyed them. Hopefully, you would't mind reading on! It would make me so very happy. :3
Their arguments in future chapters ARE hilarious.
Hahahah, nah, no long review! But this was great and I really loved it!