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Review:adluvshp says:
Hey! Here for your review swap =)

Ooh I liked this a lot! I think this story is going in a very unique and interesting direction and I cant wait to see how this turns out. Your plot concept seems to be quite complex yet nice. I have a feeling that this "Richard" is Albus (James' brother) but well, cant say anything just yet! I liked the way you set the premise of the story though, and the way you showed your main character. The flashback about the mother was nicely done too. The ending was shocking, and interesting.

As for CC, I'll say that I'd like to see more character development and more description in future chapters as that would certainly improve your narrative. Also, brush up your grammar/sentence phrasing a little bit, so it flows better. You have a couple of grammatical errors here.

Rest, this seems like a great story so keep writing! I think you have a brilliant first chapter here =) You have loads of room for improvement, so good luck!


Author's Response: Hey thanks for doing this =)

I am glad you liked it!

I did fix the CC's you mentioned I just didn't look through the chapter before posting it. Whoopsie :P

Glad you liked it!

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