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Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

Hey there! Its Gabbie of course with your requested review and we're back with Sirius. He's got alot more depth to him than I've seen in some other fanfics and I really enjoyed delving into that side of him. The fact that he's worried so much for Remus was enough for me to see that he's not so bad, not really. Lily surprised me in this chapter though, I thought she would have been a bit more upset/worried about Remus. But I guess she knows that Sirius and his friends will take care of them and I'm so thankful that you didn't make her some furious, ranting Prefect by the way. That would have been too much, she seems lovely and I can see why James likes her. Sad for him though. Hahaha.
So, Sirius is starting to get a little something for Thalia? I liked that you had him thinking so much about it, its great knowing how he feels about her and your writing was lovely. :D
Aside from James making a fool of himself and Sirius feeling as if he has to compensate in order not to face his OWN problems, you have me really curious about your characters. Not only does Thalia have some secrets of her own, Sirius himself has something that needs to be explored. I wish that he would admit to his own feelings at some point! Boys! Pshaw.
Okay, as for CC's! BUUUM! The only thing I can say is that your sentences went on for a little longer than they should have. A few periods and some commas in the right places will clear that right up. Otherwise, it was a nice read and your pacing and flow were great. You're hinting at more to come in teh future chapters and I love guessing so great job!
Thanks for the read!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! Yeah I always thought that Sirius had more of a deep side than most people think, as he just seems to be brooding all the time! Yeah well I imagined all the boys to be really close, and really care for one another, obviously not openly! So that's probably why his thoughts are deep, as he can't say it in the open without being laughed at!
With Lily I just imagined that she knew what Remus really was, just not how badly he gets hurt, so when she does seem him, he's recovered and he had James and Sirius's help, so that's why she's not as concerened. Though Lily may take being a prefect seriously, I think she realised this wasn't the time to do that as Sirius was hurt and worried!
I'm glad that you liked Sirius's thoughts, as that's part of the reason why I chose to change the POV, as I always want to know what the other person's thinking, so doing it this way everyone can know, and laugh at how they don't realise what the other person's thinking ;D
Yeah most of the characters do have some secrets, and it's more fun to be like that:D And yeah when would boy ever admit to his true feelings ;D
I know I hate proof reading, but I really should as then I won't have to be constantly told by you to add more breaks! I will get round to it.eventually ;D
Thanks for the lovely review, Kiana :D


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