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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! I'm here for review swap!

Wow, what an awesome surprise! I've never read a story with memory loss as a main plot point, but this was a fantastic place to start. I honestly loved everything about this chapter, so prepare for gushing and fangirling ahead :)

The way you begin the chapter is brilliant. Your descriptions--the stark hospital room Audrey's realization that her memory is blank--create an ominous picture, and it's a really interesting note to start on.

Actually, I really loved your description all throughout the chapter, not just the beginning. You take the time to describe such minute details, like the texture of a cauldron cake or the feel of Darius's hand as Audrey shakes it, and it's so much fun to really delve into those descriptions. Your details are well-chosen, and I never feel like I'm bogged down with too much imagery and not enough story. You strike a wonderful balance.

Audrey's narration is fascinating, too. She seems to look at everything with an air of curiosity, and yet she's not preoccupied with finding out everything about her past. She seems more focused on the future and her new life, which I think is so unexpected. I'm very excited to learn more about her!

I love your supporting cast as well, especially Andrew. I really liked hearing him tell Audrey stories of their childhood, and yet it was kind of sad. You can tell he's so connected with the stories, while Audrey just can't find any personal meaning in them. I can see how hard it must be for Andrew to have to explain their family life to his own sister, who experienced it with him.

There is literally nothing I would change about this chapter. However, I think a revamped summary would help this story tremendously. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but your summary didn't really grab me when I read it. Of course, the chapter itself is just fantastic, but I think your summary needs a little more of a punch to draw people in. I'd shorten it, and maybe choose a quote that captures the mystery of the story. Something from the first few paragraphs would be great, I think :)

Okay, done gushing now! I loved this, and it's going in my favorites for sure! Wonderful job, and thank you so much for agreeing to swap with me :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! :) It was definitely out of my comfort zone when I started writing it, so I'm glad it's working out so far - especially descriptions! I was thinking, "what would it be like to see the world with new eyes?"

I'll work on my summary, thanks for pointing that out! I'm not good at those things :/

Going over to read yours now! Thanks again :)


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