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Review:Courtney Dark says:
Hello again! Thanks so much for re-requesting:)

First of all, I think this is a HUGE improvement from the first chapter. Now I'm not saying the first chapter was bad-in fact, it was really good, and really interesting-but this chapter was just a massive step up from that, so nice work!

I actually really liked the change in POV's. It was great being able to see the story from another persons mind. And Sapphire seems as interesting as Ruby was in the first chapter-in fact, I think your characterization was even better in this second chapter! I liked the fact that there were a lot more descriptions and little details in this chapter that made the flow much smoother than previously and really gave me, as the reader, insight into the character's personalities.

I like the fact that Sapphire seems to have this mutual rivalry with Fred. I also like the fact that you've chosen Fred as Sapphire's current nemesis, as we don't usually see that. Usually the 'bad guy' in next generation is Scorpius or James or Albus, so this was a very nice change! However in saying that, I did get a little confused for a while, as I wasn't sure who Sapphire was talking to. Of course, mystery is always good in writing, but just be careful not to draw in out too much.

Overall, I thought this was a very good chapter which generally had good spelling and grammar. I noticed a few little typos here and there, but nothing too distracting!

Great work!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hey Courtney!

Thanks for reviewing!

Oh thank god! Im glad you liked it!! Yah I feel like I didn't do justice to Ruby's character so I will be making that much much better next chapter and stuff but at least for now you guys have a good view of one character!

Ya I was trying to do something different and honestly I LOVE Fred. SO I just needed him to be a BIG part of the story so I made Saphy had an actual POV and it will alternate each chapter so we can see both relationships and view things in a much boarder sense.

Thank you! =) Mya


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