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Review:BellaCamille says:
Hi! I'm Camille from the review tag.

I'm really glad I chose this story. I rarely read Pansy Parkinson stories mostly because I don't like the era very much. But I wanted to challenge myself.

I really liked the premise of this story because this type of character portrait is something seldom seen in stories. I find it very refreshing and original.

I actually found this amusing because you didn't hold back in this piece and there just wasn't room for questioning your purpose. It was so hilariously ludicrous. (in the best way! I swear!) I loved her reveling unashamedly in her popularity and her blatant attitude about most things. It made for such an interesting and entertaining character.

Her attitude about Draco and his whereabouts is also very well done. She is so unaware and so unperceptive to the obviously serious issues that Draco is facing and it really fits well with the character. She is clearly so much more concerned about herself than what Draco may be going through to cause the behavior.

I really only have a few minor concerns/critiques for you. Mainly, I wanted a bit more about her feelings surrounding the Draco issue. You touch on it some, but mostly just what she plans to do about it. I wanted to hear more about how she is angry with him and maybe some specific examples of when he blew her off or dismissed her. This is a character portrait, so her feelings and experiences are vitally important to the story and I just wanted to see more of that. I think it would have added a bit of depth.

The next thing is pretty small: The second paragraph seems a little odd to me. I understand the intent of it and I like that, but it feels a little unnecessary and misplaced. I think the extra information about Draco's father and the description of the mirror and the girls is unnecessary and clogs up the really great parts of the piece. I think that maybe a better way of portraying her vanity would simply to remove that paragraph and skip right to the next one. I think it would be more direct and have a bigger impact. Of course these are just my opinions. (:

I really quite enjoyed this story, thank you.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!

I am glad that you chose this story too, especially since you dont usually read Pansy Parkinson stories.

I am pleased to know that you found this refreshing and original. It was my first time writing such a character portrait too =)

It's great to hear that you enjoyed her ludicrous personality, and found it interesting and entertaining.

You're absolutely right, she doesn't care about Draco, just about herself, and its good that you could understand that, as that was my aim.

Thank you for your comments. I'll see what I can do about touching more on Pansy's feelings regarding the Draco issue, and if I can include any flashbacks or so.

As for the second paragraph, I just wanted to focus more on her vanity through that, but since it didn't work as well, I'll re-think about that paragraph being there =)

Thanks again!


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