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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! I'm here for review swap :)

Wow, what an interesting first chapter! I have never read anything like this, which makes it that much more fun to read. I can tell this is one I'll be stalking for updates, for sure.

Your descriptions are so detailed all the way through this chapter, and they aren't limited to just the physical. You describe the characters so thoroughly, and I really enjoyed it. You've got some great imagery going, especially in the first section. It's a very compelling read :)

That said, though, I don't feel like the chapter really takes off until the third section, when she goes into the forger's shop. At that point there's wonderful dialogue and movement, and before that it's all description, basically. Everyone's opinion on this will be different, but I think those first two sections go on just a little too long. You set a really vivid scene, but be careful not to make readers wait too long to really get the ball rolling.

I absolutely loved the forger! His job makes him mysterious, but his personality is so open and friendly. He's an interesting character, and like I said, the scene with him was my favorite of the chapter. I didn't get as much of a feel for Roxanne, but I'm sure later chapters will allow me to get to know her better :)

I can't wait to see where this goes! You've sparked a lot of questions with this opener, and you've definitely piqued my interest. Great job, and thanks again for the swap!

--Maggie

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