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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi! It's taken me a long time to get back to this chapter, but I'm really glad I did! The sentence fragments and dense paragraphs don't bother me at all, because they work with George's emotions and mental state.

There are a lot of little details that jumped out at me, for one reason or another, like "Fred-in-a-box." It made me laugh; I'm not sure why, maybe I share George's morbid sentence of humor?

Another line: "We try to avoid glass a lot," struck me, because it is a bit creepy to catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection when I'm not expecting it, and I can just imagine how much worse that might be if I had a twin who was no longer there.

Other things that struck me: the overlap of belongings in their bedroom, the mismatched chairs at the service and Molly shoving food down people's throats. All of these details seem right.

I love the enhanced sensory details (water pure and silver, crumbs as sharp as grains of crystal) that accompany George's experiment with psychedelic substances. That's another element that seems to fit -- I could definitely see them experimenting together.

I just wanted to give George a hug when he put Fred's hair in the polyjuice potion. I'm very curious to find out what George means by "you owe me" and "If there is a way." Will he search for a way to bring Fred back?

Anyway, I enjoyed this immensely and look forward to reading more! :)

Author's Response: Hello Elphaba! Wow, this is such a completely unexpected but extremely lovely surprise review :D Sorry it's taken me quite a few days to respond :(

But anyway, your comments...gah! Just made me grin like an idiot! i'm so so glad that you enjoyed the little details here and there. I've been quite deliberate about this chapter, and I'm so happy that they worked for you.

And I'm glad you laughed bahah! Yes, i was /trying/ to get a bit of dark humour in and I wasn't entirely sure I'd succeeded...only one other reviewer seemed to find parts of this chapter funny. Funny but sad.

As for that 'you owe me' bit, hmm...I think I can't quite explain it right now. It is not a big thing in the story...it's just one of those strange details that I hope will sort of contribute to a certain atmosphere, or throw a certain light on the twins' relationship to each other. I will definitely be revealing more about the twins in later chapters and I hope things will start to make sense as the story progresses.

As for your question about bringing the dead back...well you can't bring the dead back bahah! Unless George thinks of making an Inferius out of Fred's body...mm...this actually sounds interesting...maybe...

BAHA OK thanks again for your amazing review, Elphaba! ♥

-teh


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