Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jchrissy says:
Okay I just have to get this out of the way before I actually do my review. The bartering you had between Roxanne and the Forger was so amusing. I've done my fair share of bartering in China Town when I go into New York City, and it just gives you such a rush. And I totally felt the same rush while Roxanne was doing it.

Okay, onto the actual review.

I love how you started this with throwing us into the middle. It's one of my favorite techniques an author can do, and always grabs my attention right away. The feeling of Roxanne's anxiety was very well done, and such a gripping way to begin.

You mentioned in your AN about your first sentence, and though I think it does a really great job at getting the reader started, it did feel a bit odd. I think the idea of having electricity inserted is sort of what stumped me up. I don't know why, but I found myself trying to figure out if electricity can actually in *inserted* into anything. Maybe rewording it as, "Roxanne jolted awake as if an electric current had tore through the length of her spine."

I didn't notice anything else that felt off though, and I may have only noticed the sentence because you pointed it out in your AN.

Knockturn Alley isn't described near enough. I feel like it's forgotten about so often, and you did such an amazing job at bringing it to life. I was also really pleased when the shop wasn't what Roxanne expected it to be.

And now we're left to wonder just on earth this girl is up to!

I think you have a really great start with this! I'm going to have to come back by when you add the next chapter!

Thanks for an awesome swap, m'dear!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net