|Review:||Courtney Dark says:|
Whoopie! You wrote a second chapter! I'm so happy! Congratulations! Bravo! Way too many exclamation marks!
I adored this chapter! Again. I love to read next-generation characters like Ellie but a lot of the time next-gen is completely plotless. More sex than actual story! This seems, thanks to the ghosts, like this is going to be a really interesting story and I can't wait to read more!
I love the way your started similarly to the last chapter with: 'You know life ain’t normal when Regulus Black is standing in the middle of your neighbour’s kitchen.' Instantly, from that line, I knew I was going to enjoy this chapter. I've always been quite curious about Regulus, as he isn't explored much in the books, so I think it's awesome that Ellie is able to see is ghost! Oh, and this bit was awesome by the way: 'And he was cute.
And dead, but who really cared about such trivial things?' You obviously have an awesome humourous streak!
Your characterizations in this chapter are awesome-especially of Regulus and Ellie. I can completely see the Black in Regulus shining through-the arrogance that Sirius has is definitely prominent, and I really hope he will be a reoccurring character! I especially loved the line: 'He shrugged, his smile coming down a notch from ‘I’m-the-coolest-dead-guy-ever’ to ‘yeah-I-almost-defeated-the-Dark-Lord-so-I’m-trying-to-be-humble’.' I also like the way you are developing Ellie's character and personality. I like the fact that she's a little nerdy, while still being quite sarcastic and witty. What a great combination-and one I haven't seen an awful lot of, either.
Hmm, why does Regulus think Ellie needs him? Is this possible foreshadowing of future events? Anyway, everything Regulus said in this chapter certainly grabbed my interest and I now find that I am asking myself a lot of questions. You have a great way of keeping the mystery and suspense, will still retaining a light, humour filled chapter, which is awesome.
The line: '“I’ve been dead for forty years, Ellie. Death can get pretty boring if I can’t livestream the latest episode of Doctor Who.”' was great-absolutely perfect comedic timing! You really have a knack for that, by the way. Oh, and have I mentioned I LOVE Regulus' character?
Aw, Ginny was so sweet in this character, and I really liked the slightly tender moment between her and Ellie, and how Ellie reminisced about her mother. It certainly added another layer of depth and believability to this chapter.
Another great one-I hope you update as soon as possible!
Author's Response: Hello! Do I get in trouble for being such a slow replyer? I mean, you reply to my reviews, practically the next day, so this is terrible! And in response to my last review to you - I LOVE READING YOUR REVIEWS TOO! Also, I do enjoy reviewing your stuff.
And aren't you just so proud? An actual second chapter! With actual plot development! Which is a lot more than all my previous drafts. *hi-5's myself*
It was so difficult to get that first line - I had to change things a bit to make it work! And I adored writing Regulus. I think he might be my favourite character in this story. As a writer, I don't think I'm allowed to pick favourites, but he really is. He's just so much fun!
And you think I'm funny? Aww... I'm truly flattered. Wait until you read some of my lamer and nerdier jokes that I want to add later on - they're much worse!
Ginny is probably the coolest mum ever. And I really wanted her to be a cool mum, because we see Molly as really traditional archetype, and Ellie really needs someone like that, but I didn't want to write Ginny as Molly, because she just isn't.
As for updating - I'm about to begin writing the third chapter in the next ten minutes!